Post # 1
So, I talked to my aunt’s friend about officiating our wedding a few months ago. He is very religious so I made it a point to tell him several times we wanted a non-religious ceremony and I wanted to make sure he was okay with that. He said he was and we have a meeting with him in a few weeks. I sent him an e-mail the other day about changing the time of our meeting, andif he would be joining us for reception and rehearsal dinner etc. He responded and offered to do a prayer before the dinner. Um…did he not get it? Not religious! I’m nervous that he will blurt out something about God/Jesus during the ceremony and FMIL wants me to fire him and find someone else. Ugh….
Post # 3
I was in a similar situation and it’s tough! I would be careful…it sounds like it is very possible he might try to slip in some religious references, maybe innocently but still …if that isn’t what you want, it isn’t a good match. I would definitely start looking for another one and see what you come up with. You might find a great fit and then you can politely tell the friend you’ve decided to go another way.
You could also keep the meeting and express your concerns to him again at that point. If that’s the first time you will be bringing up the issue in person to him I think you will get a pretty good idea of how he really feels from that. Then depending on what happens at the meeting you could either go with the other person you found OR keep the current one.
Post # 4
Eek, that’s awkward! Have you written him back yet? I would say something along the lines of “we really appreciate your offer, but it would mean a lot to us to keep the whole day completely non-religious. We would, however, love you to say a few words about how thankful we are that everyone came out.” (Or whatever.)
In my experience, you really can’t let one or two things slip by with regards to religious references, because then they start pouring through. I understand at a family event or something, but this is YOUR wedding, and should reflect the two of you!
Post # 5
I agree with love2lol. I think in person you’ll get a better sense of whether or not this is a good fit. But start looking for somebody else in the meantime-just in case.
Post # 6
Okay how does this sound? (he asked me to have song choices decided on by the meeting)
Hi there,I am glad to hear you and your wife will be attending. The rehearsal will be (date, time, location) We will be meeting right outside the zoo’s main entrance. The dinner afterward will be at
. I can provide directions if you need them.
I have been looking at some wording for the ceremony as well as songs. I will make sure to have all the decisions finalized before our meeting. We really appreciate your offer of a prayer but we would like to keep the day non-religious given our family diversity.
Future Mrs. Kirsch
Post # 7
That sounds great! I think you said it beautifully.