Post # 1
Dh & I always vowed to keep any pregnancy a secret until the 12w mark because we wanted to make sure things were good before telling all the future-grandparents. Basically–they’d get way too excited and DH’s mom has dealt with so many MCs 🙁 in her lifetime that we don’t think she’d handle it well God forbid if something went wrong.
Well, were actually telling parents today! I am 7w (my dr. says i’m 7w5d but i’ll argue that). The reason were telling them is because I am severly sick….I seriously havent eaten ion 3 days…my house is a mess…..the last 2 weeks have been helll-ish and Im miserable. I want my mama!!! Other than needing their support: I basically need their help. I can’t even cook dinner. I can’t even BE in my kitchen without getting super sick.
Anyone else had to tell parents of pregnancy even though they were apprehensive? Advice? Stories??
Post # 3
Please tell them– if something happens you’ll need your mom even more and you need their help now. It may not be the way you planned it, but you’ll be happy to have their love and support.
Post # 4
I plan to wait, however I am very close with my mom and when we do get preg (not even TTC yet) if I get sick, I can see needing her there! Also, I agree with PP… you are going to want their support no matter what.
I hope you feel better!
Post # 5
Aww, I’m sorry to hear you aren’t feeling well. I waited to tell my parents until 13 weeks, but they also live far away. If my parents lived close there was no way I could have waited that long. Good luck, they are going to be sooo excited!!!
Post # 6
We told our parents on Christmas when I was a little more than 7 weeks. I was nervous at first but it felt great to finally tell them. They were so happy and excited for us and I was greatful that I could lean on them for support if I needed it. Good luck!
Post # 7
I was way more symptomatic in my first tri, and it can be so difficult to hide. A bunch of people at church found out because I kept blacking out at choir rehearsals, and I couldn’t lie because they were really worried. It made me nervous because I was still so early, but in the end it was just easier going forward when I didn’t feel good.
I always get so nervous telling, but people, esp family, are always so excited, that it’s just a big relief, and I end up being really happy the rest of the day. I understand wanting to protect them from a potential sadness, but your situation is dictating some extra help to properly take care of yourself and your baby. Good luck telling, I’m sure everything will be fine 🙂
Post # 8
I was about 8 wks when I told my parents. My ExH and I were stationed 5,000 miles away from home. We were newly married (6mths) and fairly young (21). I was really sick my entire pregnancy, high BP, high blood sugar and hospital stay worthy morning sickness. I think they would have been more excited had I not been sick but in the end, once they see that first face sonogram they melt and all apprehension disappears.
Post # 9
I was miserable like you during my 1st trimester, but we still waited to tell our parents. I really wanted my mom’s support during that time, but she was going through some of her own issues that would have made it impossible for her to be there for me.
I think it’s fine if you decide to tell your parents. Just be sure to tell them to keep the pregnancy a secret from others, if you don’t want other people to find out right now. We forgot to explicitly tell DH’s mom that our news wasn’t quite public yet, and within 30 minutes of telling her, DH’s step brother had posted something on our facebook walls. Ugh.
Good luck telling your parents, and I really hope you feel better soon. A small silver lining — If you’re feeling this miserable, chances are the pregnancy is sticking.
Post # 10
I told my parents the day after my BFP because I wanted to be able to talk to my mom about how I was feeling. We told DH’s parents at 6 weeks. We were hesitant to tell them because we were nervous they would tell people, but when we explained that we wanted to make sure the baby was healthy before we went public, they understood. Your MIL may be very supportive since she has dealt with MC. Good luck and I hope you start feeling better.
Post # 11
I hope you feel better soon! I agree, you should tell them now, you need their support. I can’t imagine keeping it secret for too long either!
Post # 12
I’m sorry to hear you are so sick.
I am also sorry to hear we won’t be in the waiting game to tell parents!
I think in your case though, their support would really help, and they will probably understand you wanted to wait, but will be happy to know (of course) to help you.
Post # 13
I was really sick too (lost 25lbs in my first tri). However, I had miscarriages prior to this pregnancy, and so I didn’t tell. My first miscarriage really made my father so upset so I decided to not tell until I was farther along.
Post # 14
I was extremely hesistant as I am still pretty nervous about something happening since this is my first pregnancy. But I thought about the fact that if I had lost the baby I would tell my mother anyways, and since I’ve been really sick and could use the extra hand there wasn’t any downside in telling my parents. We told them last night and they are on cloud nine. We are waiting until after the 1st trimester to tell everyone else, but I couldn’t see any harm in telling my parents. Good luck and congratulations!
Post # 15
Could you tell your parents, and wait a few more weeks to tell DH’s parents? Not ideal, but then you’d get the support you need while taking MIL’s previous MC issues into consideration.
Or just tell MIL that you know it’s early, but you’ve been feeling so ill that you really need their support (and secrecy to others). Then, if the worst happens, you’ll have her to turn to for support since she’ll have been in that situation before.
Post # 16
One thing I didn’t mention before – my parents would be a little upset if I wasn’t feeling well and didn’t tell them.