(Closed) Nervous and unsure….anyone else?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

 When my fiance does something immature or that gets on my nerves I think “Oh my gosh, this is what I’m going to have to deal with forever?” but I know he is the best fit for me and he damn sure puts up with all my annoying habits and craziness. As for thinking about past relationships, the only thing that ever crosses my mind is “Thank goodness that never worked out!” or I know I wouldn’t be happy and where I am in life today. I think you’re probably just being a typical person and wondering about the unkown. Just remind yourself why you’re with your fiance. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think what you’re going through is completely normal.  Planning a wedding is an overwhelming project.  When we were going through our pre-marital counseling, I admitted my greatest fear was the marriage not working out.  In this day and age, it’s almost impossible to not worry about that possibility.

However, when I get those thoughts, I remind myself of all the wonderful things about my FI.  I love him more than words could say and I know he feels the same.  I think it’s easy to be happy with someone 95% of the time.  Sticking through the other 5% with just one person is what marriages are about.  There is no way to find someone who won’t get on your nerves at least some of the time.

Maybe take some time and make a special date with your FI.  Do some reconnecting.  That is as important during your engagement as it will be during your marriage!

Post # 5
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

You should read The Conscious Bride.

What you’re feeling is normal, but the wedding industry tells us that we should only be feeling bliss and excitement. Everyone feels doubt and anxiousness–not just grooms. If you don’t address them NOW then you’ll crash after your wedding. Just know you aren’t alone.

Post # 6
Member
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think its normal to feel that way at times. I’d say if it were 50% of the time then you shouldn’t get married. But since it isn’t that often I think that is only natural to think about it. It’s a huge step in your life. I’ve been engaged for two years and the first year I really thought about it more when we would fight. But now I don’t at all. I think it passes and this is certainly not the type of case where I would say “if you are having any doubts, get out now”…because it doesn’t sound like you are having doubts. Its easy to get in disagreements with your SO because that’s the one person that you are around more than anyone–at least thats how it is for me. And really, I have never got along better with anyone else I’ve lived with even if we have disagreements at times. If I think about room mates or family that I’ve lived with, we didn’t get along like I do with my FI. My FI shares his paycheck, his belongings, his cars, he supports me and protects me and I’ve never received that from a past relationship so it does get more stressful. And the more responsibility you take on with your SO, the more likely you will have tension in your relationship.

It’s a good sign that both of you are doing well with taking care of a pet together. That’s actually a pretty good (but small) way to judge your future of taking care of other larger responsibilites as a couple.

Post # 8
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

This is totally normal, I think.  Unfortunately, things aren’t always 100% roses & fuzzy feelings.  I totally have those “5%” moments with my FI where he irks my nerves so bad that I just look at him like “Who ARE you?”  LoL… it can be easy to forget the wonderful awesomeness of your guy in those moments that he’s workin the nerve.

Post # 9
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

I have those WTH is wrong with you moments sometimes but there are very few of those compared to the fun happy times so I know its so worth it to put up with it in the long run. I think as long and the good times outweigh the bad in your mind when you think about your relationship then you know your doing the right thing its normal to be nervous and scared I think everyone is at times during the engagement I mean how could you not be its huge lol I would suggest when your nerves get to you go do something fun to take your mind off of it and you will feel better

ps. I love your dog. so cute 🙂

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