- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
I’m getting married in 2 months, and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I am a very shy person who keeps to myself. So is my fiance. We are having a smaller sized wedding, not too small, but small. I am still unsure of the guest count. And I feel like we over-invited, but we could have between 50 and 70 guests, I am guessing. I am not sure what to do if we did in fact over-invite…the room is smaller for the reception. However, we could be flexible and move some tables around, I am guessing(for dancing). We originally were going to have an even smaller wedding, but we kept thinking of more and more people to invite(between all the families, etc.). Also, since my FMIL and fiance’s family was so unsupportive and meddlesome for so long about us wanting to get married, I wanted to make sure we had more supportive people around as guests in attendance. Even my own sisters are a bit unsupportive and aren’t even my bridesmaids for various reasons:(
I’m feeling really nervous about being the center of attention around all these people! I’m not nervous about actually getting married/making a lifelong commitment. I am excited because we have a beautiful church and a special Catholic ceremony, and super excited about the musicians we have for the ceremony(They are girls who play guitars and have talented voices, they regularly do masses).
Since I am such a shy person and a little older(30), my friends that will be there are either old friends(friends that were good friends in the past but lost touch at some point in time), mutual friends from highschool(meaning not super close), or friends that live afar and are good friends, but don’t get to see eachother often(due to living so far and them being married w/kids, etc.) I have a few relatives coming. I have several work people probably coming(The people in my life I see most regularly now). Then we have a few family friends. On the groom’s side we have several relatives, a couple of his college roommates(if they choose to come), and some of his mom’s friends. I feel funny that more of the guests will be people I know, I think. My groom doesn’t really have friends. My FMIL wanted to invite a ton of people, but we seriously cut her list down, especially from the local people. This is because we felt like she was just inviting all these random people that really don’t need to be at our wedding…like her friends or people who were involved in the groom’s childhood activities. We really didn’t have space for all the extra people. Especially since the groom’s parents aren’t paying for anything related to the wedding.
Anyways, I am so shy and have social anxiety and have never really even had a bday party for myself since I was 11! I’ve only had a couple parties when I was college age because they were surprise party gatherings. I was very social in college…really came out of my shell. But as I have gotten older and in the area where I live/work, it’s hard to make new friends. Plus all my friends are in the stages of their lives where they get really busy and wrapped up in them/flakey. Plus I have seen my friendships change with certain people, etc.
I really didn’t want to have a bridal shower, because I am so shy. However, I didn’t want to disappoint my mom:( My friend/bridesmaid insisted on giving me one though and talked me into it though. I really wish I could cancel it, but I can’t at this point:( My bridesmaid got all upset at me because I didn’t want to ask the 2 people who didn’t RSVP if they were coming or not: I am assuming they are not coming for specific reasons and she doesn’t like that. I seriously don’t want to confront/nag people after they wouldn’t even respond to the RSVP…so she got in a little tiff about it. It’s in 2 weeks. Also, at work they insist on throwing my fiance and I a wedding shower, and I also have mixed feelings about it. I am not inviting everyone to the wedding(they know that though) and I already feel that people are gossipy/judgmental about having the shower. THey know I am a shy person so they probably think it’s weird that I would have one. So yes, we’re having the showers, but now I regret agreeing to them, as I hate being sociable at parties these days(I feel awkward/shy) and being the center of attention.
I’ve already decided that I don’t want a bachelorette party:( I originally wanted to have that more than the bridal shower. But I originally wanted to have a low key little gathering for a few drinks in which people could bring bridal shower gifts and make it a bachelorette party at the same time. However, it turned out differently due to my bridesmaid insisting on the full out, formal shower. I think my BM wanted me to have a bach. party but since we had a little fight about the RSVPs confrontations, I doubt she would offer to do it. Now, I just don’t see the point in having a bachelorette party because I am 30 and not in my 20s anymore. I really don’t go out and party like I used to, and neither do people I know…and everyone will be coming from afar for the wedding. My fiance just wants to go out with his brother for his bachelor party, I think I want to come along and just have it the three of us and I can get drinks…fiance says thats okay.
I hate having this endless checklist(which I am almost done with) of things that have to get accomplished for this wedding. I am having so much stress or something that recently I started to get headaches/facial pain….and it might be from being so stressed out that I clench my teeth in my sleep or something. On top of it all, it’s mostly ME who’s paying for most of the wedding. Or that’s what it feels like. I am paying a set amount, and my parents are paying the rest. Fiance says he will contribute a tiny bit. For the honeymoon I will probably pay for most of it, as well. Fiance only wants to contribute a small amount for the honeymoon, but I really don’t want a super cheap honeymoon(which is basically impossible these days) so I would rather foot the bill myself so we can have something decent. I already kind of support my fiance right now, for the time being too. (He had a knee surgery and is recovering and not working right now, he will be going back to work after the wedding) He has money to contribute, but he says he’s saving it and basically acts since it’s tradition for the bride’s family to cover the cost of the wedding, that I should pay for most of it. My parents are a bit ticked, because they don’t like that he’s hardly contributed. I hope that my fiance follows through and actually contributes what he says he will: half of church fee, marriage licence, and part of honeymoon.
Anyhow, to sum things up I am just nervous and overwhelmed. Unsure I want to be a center of attention. I will have to imagine not so many people being there:( I am actually the most nervous about the bridal shower coming up:( I am sorry that I had the little fight with my bridesmaid about something silly like emails about rsvps. I also feel a little bad that my sisters aren’t bridesmaids, but circumstances led to that, and I need supportive bridal party people:(
Sorry for the long vent.