Post # 1
Hi, fellow Bees! My FI is very shy. He is comfortable around his family, my immediate family, and a few long-time friends. We are getting married in May and he wants to keep it small, since he doesn’t want alot of people looking at him. Yeah, he really said that.
I’m fine with small. We’re doing everything ourselves. The ceremony will be family only, officiated by my brother. Of course, his immediate family, with nieces and nephews, totals 24 people. The reception will include more family- aunts/uncles and cousins, as well as some friends.
He is still wondering how we can make it smaller, even suggesting that we start the ceremony at 2 or 3 p.m., “so maybe people can’t come, because they are at work.”
I’ve tried explaining to him that everybody looks at the bride, and that his friends and family are excited to join in on our happiness, and that his brother/best man will be right beside him the whole time. He is still uncomfortable with the idea of being even part of the center of attention.
Anyone else have this issue? What did you do? Married Bee’s welcome to share how your shy groom got through your big day!
Post # 3
@jbro: It sounds like we are having the same wedding! Family-only, around 20 people (we aren’t even including a lot of extended family) all because my FI is too shy and can’t do the big wedding. We initially planned a larger, more traditional wedding, but cancelled because it all became too much for him.
Maybe show him some real weddings from http://www.intimateweddings.com to show him how a small wedding would look/feel, and that it’s not so scary. It is so hard for guys to visualize this stuff. Plus, the site got ME excited for our intimate wedding, because now I can see how wonderful and memorable small weddings can be. It’s a lot easier to create “atmosphere” for 20 people as opposed to 100.
This might be a longshot, but my FI is walking down the aisle with our dog (who will stay up there with him). It makes him a lot more comfortable bc people will be like “ohmigod cute puppy!” as opposed to looking at him. Or maybe if he didnt have to wear a suit? Find out what it is that’s making him tick, and then see if you can find a creative way to go around it.
You can do this! I know how hard it is to plan with a shy groom. A lot of people have asked me if he was “sure”, because of how unexcited he is for the wedding. What they dont realize is the only thing he’s unsure about is having them there – I’m the only thing he IS sure about. Just remember that.