- 6 years ago
I don’t know why I’m doing this. I’m ruining the best relationship I’ve ever had by neurotically picking at every little detail, in a desperate attempt to find problems that don’t even exist. Before you say anything, I’m seeing a counseler about it, and we’ve been trying to work through my trust and abandonment issues together. This is just a way to vent my feelings and to see if anyone else is going through the same thing I’m going through.
Every time I try to talk to my SO about it, he takes it very personally and feels I don’t love him anymore because he feels like he can’t do anything right, which is absolutely not true. He’s wonderful. I know I’m the one with the problem. I told him since we just moved in together and were long distance for the majority of our relationship, it’s going to take some time to adjust and adapt to each other.
He’s very picky about factual things, whereas I am very sensitive when it comes to emotional things, so I get offended when he corrects me on an incorrect statement, and he gets offended when I react to something that I feel was insensitive.
The ultimate irony is that I was worried about him moving in with me, because I was worried that him constantly correcting me would eventually drive me away. Now I’m afraid I’ll be the one that will drive him away. I can’t just not tell him when he does something to upset me, but he gets so upset every time I do. I’m trying to pick my battles, but I’m afraid if I don’t speak up right away, it will stew and eventually turn into a bigger problem.
I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him over something as stupid as my own insecurities. He’s the one paying the price for all the times I’ve been screwed over in the past and I feel terrible about it. How can we constructively work through this?