Post # 1
I am having such a hard time right now. We just got married a few weeks ago (yay!) but have been together for 8 years. We were going to start TTC in Jan./Feb. after our honeymoon, but everything with my job is now up in the air. My job in its current state ends next June. There’s some options but I’m having a hard time being positive about them.
Anyway, I just feel devastated by the whole thing. I’m 30. I finally found a job that I like, near my home, that would work around having a new baby and now that’s gone. DH is 36. He doesn’t mind waiting to start TTC but I am just so over waiting.
At what point do you give up on waiting for the ‘right time’? 🙁
Post # 3
@luverly7: I have no idea what it feels like to be in your position, but I wouldn’t say there is a “perfect time” for anything. There is ALWAYS going to be something: work, money, time…
I’d tell you to talk to your husband, let it out. What you want and then hear what he has to say. Stop thinking about the outside world for just a second.
I hope things go well for you both!
Post # 4
From personal experience I know that it can take longer then anticipated to actually get a BFP so waiting to start TTC can really add up to the overall time of actually becoming parents. Don’t put your life on hold, there really never will be a “perfect” time, things always come up. We started TTC when I was 30, I am soon to be 33 and we have yet to get a BFP and neither of us having any issues found (considered unexplained infertility) Good luck to you!
Post # 5
I gave up on al that right time stuff. I’m 10 weeks pregnant, new grad, praying for a job!! No idea how we will manage child care, no idea how we will save enough money if I don’t get a job in my field…. but still ecstatic to be pregnant. I figure it will work out one way or another….I mean, what’s the worse that an happen? lol….we are both healthy, hard working, we have skills….if we end up living off our 401k, and filing bankruptcy I’d be rather surprised!! LOL…you know it helps to look at worst case scenerio and know that that rarley happens….something always works out. Not to say it’s not important to be prepared, but I feel you, I was 30 when I got married, I’m 31 now…we just coudn’t wait any longer.
Post # 6
Now is the right time, basically. Start trying for that baby, because if you wait too long, you risk having a much harder time conceiving.
The other things can always be worked out, but fertility is fleeting for most. Don’t put off something as important as children for something like a job. Things can be arranged to accommodate having children; people do it all the time. Getting pregnant and having the child will lead you in the direction you need to go in order to have your lives and jobs arranged properly. Things like that can actually be easier to do when the baby is already on the way. It sounds odd and backwards, but it’s true.
Go ahead and get started.
Post # 7
@luverly7: I’m almost 30w into an unplanned pregnancy. Lots of factors to say this isn’t ideal but I’m over the moon about my little boy!
Post # 8
@luverly7: There is no right time, but considering your losing your job in June, I would start the TTC journey NOW! If you don’t struggle, you will have a baby by summer and will have time off with him/her while taking your time to find something new.
Post # 9
Woah! I’m actually in the popular opninon!
I think if you and DH can manage a few months without you working, now would be the perfect time to TTC! Then you could take 3-6 months off while applying to jobs/enjoying time with your baby!
Post # 10
I’m only 26, but I get you on the waiting part. I just looked at our finances (for the millionth time, I’m an OCD budgeter) and we won’t be able to start TTC’ing for at least anotehr 2-3 years if we want to be completey consumer debt free. ((HUGS))
Post # 11
@tampalove35: Agreed I actually feel like right this minute is a great time!! LOL
Post # 12
There isn’t a right time, you just make due imo. Even if everythign were perfect when you gave birth, there’s no guarentee it’d stay that way, so why try to make it perfect TO ttc. Our company is rumoring layoffs (we work at the same place), so there’s a small chance one or both of us could get laid off, and I have no plan to put the brakes on TTCing, job or not.
Post # 13
I think the question you have to ask yourself is what you forsee changing for the better in the near/distant future. Being out of a job come june might be an opportunity.
DH & I went the very radical route of TTC while I was in law school. While most people will tell you “finish school first”, but the only functional timelines for me (professionally) is NOW or in 5 years from now, since I’d have to right the bar, intern, get established etc. Our choice is less than ideal, & there’s no right answer but for us, it was more important to start our family now while I can stay home with them & put my career on hold until my kids are old enough.
Post # 14
I think the right time is when you feel you want a baby and can support said baby in a healthy safe environment!
You’ll do great! Good luck TTC as well, FI and I have been trying for 10 cycles. We are currently going into our 11th. Who knows how long it will take for you! You may get pregnant right away, you may take a while, or you may even need help getting pregnant. I’d definitely get off BCP and start charting/temping now.
Post # 15
I am in your exact position. (Ok ok, just a TAD off) I am 32 and my contract is ending by end of next month.
I am looking for work but very lacklustre approach @ best. We are TTC. At 30, it was something similar for me. At 26, it was something of the same as well. Now at 32, it’s still something. Point being, there will ALWAYS be something or other that will come up which makes it feel like bringing kids in to the world may not be such a great idea at the moment. But you know what, you can’t wait forever. There will almost always never be a ‘right’ time. Do it now. And work hard to CREATE That ‘right’ time you are after.
That’s my game plan also. I.e. keep lookin’ for work and keep TTCing. Also looking in to courses that wil propel me in to a better position. Just prepping myself up so that things can fall in to place in their due time. I am just doing my due diligence in order to get there.
Post # 16
@Sasha2011: Wow, that really strikes a chord with me. I was thinking about that last night…in a few years, is there any guarantee we’re going to be better off than we are right now? It seems like every year something happens to make the situation less “perfect”: we move, we change jobs, someone in the family gets sick, etc. Great advice!