(Closed) Never been so hurt before. I can’t stop crying

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh my gosh I am so sorry! (hugs)!!

The worst part is that I can relate. My parents say all kinds of rude inconsiderate things to me about how “selfish” and “inconsiderate” I am and that all I care about is money (No, I don’t, but I refuse to pay for shit for you if you don’t manage your money well. I’m sorry)

I dread my wedding planning because I know my parents will not be excited and I know they’re possibly going to pull this shit.

No one should ever have to deal with this from the people they love most (and should love them back unconditionally)

Post # 4
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

OMG………. first, a bear-hug to you :-(..i am so, so,so sorry………..i just wrote a post complaining of my family’s lack of enthusiasm about the wedding but it doesn’t go this far!!!!!

It’s only natural brides become obsessed with the wedding planning – my mum called me so. We want it to be perfect, not only for us but for the guests as well, right? Do u think you take it too far or was your mum completely rambling? Of course NOTHING can excuse the ton of awful things she said to you..i would be terribly hurt and i might do something crazy, like marry with just a couple of friends present. I think BEING happy is the only way to show family thay they are wrong..

Post # 5
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Wow! Is that toxic?!

Is there anyway for you to plan a smaller wedding and wait until later to decide whether to even invite her or not? It may seem drastic but if she is that much against your wedding then I would think it not unreasonable. There is nothing selfish about planning one of the most important days in your life. I think that weddings should be a bride and groom surrounded by the people that love them and will help them strengthen their marriage and your mother definitely doesn’t fit that picture.

Post # 6
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

Obviously, I don’t know anything about your overall relationship with your mom, but I can identify with this portion.

My mother is toxic. She has often called me a bitch among other things you should never say to your daughter. Long story short, I haven’t spoken to her in years, and she was not invited to my wedding. My day was so much better without having to be concerned about her.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. And the truth is, you didn’t do anything to deserve this. No one does. There is nothing wrong with you, and you are not at fault for your mother’s poor judgement and callous remarks.

Post # 7
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I am so sorry! we have all hit that breaking point in planning where we have a complete meltdown, it happens! – i’m sorry your mother was so hard on you. I’m not a spiteful person but this would make me just want to run off and elope…Its supposed to be a beautiful day full of love and happiness not filled with stress and bitterness. I do hope she comes around. Stay strong!

Post # 8
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

yeah I’ve read both posts…I would take your money, and go somewhere beautiful like Hawaii, Cali, Florida, and get marrried. Elope. I wouldn’t put up with my mother calling me a bitch, and it sounds like she meant it. That’s just abusive, and uncalled for. 

Post # 10
12881 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Annonybee123:  I’m so sorry this has happened to you; I wonder what really triggered it.  One freak out shouldn’t trigger something of this magnitude, and if it did…there’s other issues going on. 

As for the money you have tied up in deposits…is it money your mother (parents?) agreed to contribute originally?  Without their help, can you afford this?  When your mother said she didn’t want to contribute anymore, that was one of my questions.  If you call the vendors and explain what happened, do you think you can get money back?  Is the May 2012 wedding date accurate? (With anonymous profiles, I never know!)

Post # 11
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Annonybee123:  I don’t think you should postpone the shower, I think you need a fun day where you can forget about this (temporarily)! Is your mom coming to the shower?

Post # 13
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I am so, so sorry.

If you want to elope, I don’t think you should let the down payment thing stop you. Either let your parents forfeit the money or, if you can swing it, reimburse them for the down payments so that you can put the whole thing behind you. Better to have a stress-free wedding that you want than go through with a big stressful situation (and basically throw more good money after bad) because you don’t want to lose your down payments.

I am so sorry your mother is treating you this way.

Post # 14
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

Yikes, is it just the wedding that has turned your mom from best friend to someone who would say those kind of hurtful things to you?

Big hugs! There is a bitch in this situation, but it isn’t you.

Post # 15
8884 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Jamie42003:  I completely agree with this.

No mother should speak to her child that way, my heart breaks for you. I almost cried reading this, just from putting myself in your shoes. The way she acted is just horrible and you do NOT deserve any of it.

I agree with the elopement idea. You and your Fiance want to be married and don’t need that kind of negativity dragging you down. I would definitely give it a few days to see if your mom calls you to apologize. If she doesn’t, move on to wedding plans without her. Maybe write her a letter telling her how much she hurt you. Explain that her hurtful words and lack of faith in your relationship broke your heart.

I cannot even fathom how she can possibly defend herself and not apologize. I’m sending lots of hugs your way!

Post # 16
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry.  I can’t imagine how hurt you are feeling.  Hopefully, your mom calms down and comes to her senses soon.

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