Never expected this to come from a mother.

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

OH my gosh that is nasty!!  Enjoy it for now??  Geez, people really need idiot filters.  I’m sorry you had to be at the receiving end of that statement!  Totally rude.

Post # 3
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

What the..? How old are you guys and how long have you guys been together? (Not that it matters as she shouldn’t have said anything regardless but I’m curious what she deems ‘acceptable’!) 


Some people just say the weirdest things. I had a check out lady ask me if it was my first marriage when I was buying stuff for the wedding once, lol. I am only in my 20s so this is not a common question to ask I thought..when I jokingly said ‘first and last I hope, it’s too much work to do it again!’ she looked worried and said ‘well hopefully.’ hah!!

Post # 4
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

Water off a duck’s back, babe. Smile, nod, thank her, then let her wallow in her own negativity.

Post # 5
4649 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

ruphiolis:  I don’t know how old that mom is but I swear to heck they lose their filters the older they get. I am an older bride getting married again and I was talking to my mom about what kind of dress I might wear. And she said, “Oh, I think you’re way beyond a white dress.” Whaaa…? So I bought an ivory (that’s practically white) dress tonight so pbbbbbt. And my personal favoite, “Why don’t you just wear your old ring? (with my former husband)” Ummm…. yeah.

Post # 6
588 posts
Busy bee

ruphiolis:  Is it possible she meant something else? It sounds incredibly rude, but could maybe her daughter have told her something that she was referencing – about choosing the ring maybe? Or is she a bitter divorcée? (Or are you guys actually teenagers and have only been dating for a few months? I still wouldn’t say that outloud to someone else’s kid, but I might think it, at least.)

Post # 7
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think the circumstances truly depend on your age, length of relationship to yoru FI and your place in life. I could see why someone, especially someone who is close to you, saying that and not intending to be rude and is just concerned for your well being.

if you were still in undergraduate dorming/living at home, been with your FI less than 2 years & were broke (yes that is none of her bussiness, but I could certainly understand the statement. Its a polite way of saying, are you sure you dont want to be more stable first).

If none of this applies to you, it could be that she still just happens to see you as the heart broken high school girl and not as a woman. 

In the end, she should have said NOTHING but I could understand the comment from someone your close to saying that, if you are in a rocky spot in life and waiting would make more sense than getting married. 

Post # 8
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

What she said was terribly rude BUT I can think of one *almost* excusable reason why she might have said what she did.

Her daughter had just been broken up with unexpectedly. Did she (the daughter) think that she was perhaps on the road to marriage? Perhaps a loooong road, but the right road none-the-less?

If so, I’m sure that a mother (who sounds like she has been supportive in the past) would have said things like “You are young, you have plenty of time to find the right guy. You wouldn’t want to be getting married now anyway. No person in their right mind marries the person they date at X age…” etc etc. So it is possible that she said what she did in a way to “protect” her daughter’s feelings and back up what she herself had been saying.<br /> <br /> I’m not saying that it isn’t rude, but at least this way it was for a good cause…sort of. Long story short, it’s better than just being rude because you are a witch.



Post # 10
10904 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think her comment was FAR MORE about her own, likely now-tainted views of love and marriage, and FAR LESS about you and your engagement.

Sadly, there are many people who allow their own disillusionment with and disappoitment in marriage to color their views of others’ news. I think the correct response is for you to enjoy the fact that she likes your ring and to have compassion on her by realizing that she may have once been that excited about love but no longer feels that way.

Post # 11
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Brielle:  +1  I agree with this.

I told an old aquaintance about my engagement and he went off on a tangent basically saying he doesn’t think people should get married and it’s all sort of a lie and terrible, etc. etc.  I just stood there, thinking  “Well thanks, dude.”  lol

I felt sorry for him. Sounds like this lady has issues– either her own or her daughter’s. I say let it slide off your back. She won’t be the last one to say something moronic.

Post # 12
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I suspect what she meant was “young people today are in such a rush to get married… I have always wondered why they didn’t enjoy being young whilst they still had the chance… maybe travelling, doing different jobs… experiencing different things before they settle down. I wish I had.”

Not sure it was meant negatively at all, really.

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