Post # 1
Who else wasn’t ever in the waiting category? He proposed about a year earlier than I expected so I was ready but not.. waiting. I figured he’d wait longer because he had already made a deal with my dad that I had to finish college first. Now we’re engaged with a longer engagement than I figured we’d have which is fine. I was just never in the waiting bee position and I wonder who else out there skipped out on that? I feel rather lucky reading some of the posts in the waiting category but at the same time I can’t understand why some would wait so long. I’m just lucky that my fiance and I have always been on the same page.
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s necessarily “luck” that makes it so that some people don’t have to wait. If you love someone, you stay with them and work through things. Sometimes people have a lot to accomplish before they get married…my fiancé wants his business to be settled before we tie the knot, and I full support him so I can understand waiting a while.
It isn’t necessarily that the people who are waiting aren’t on the “same page” as their fiancé, but that their fiancé’s are planning big proposals, saving up money for the ring, acccomplishing things they need to before they get married, and the list goes on and on. Of course a lot of those thinsg don’t matter when you’re waiting and you wish the guy would just ask already–ring or no ring, in the car or in Paris, working at McDonalds or being a CEO. A lot of times guys wait for the perfect moment because he wants to really make it special, and it ends up driving the girl crazy, but it’s worth it in the end.
I think it’s rather harsh to say it’s a lack of luck that leads to waiting or not being on the same page, as much as circumstance. Sometimes the guy wants his ducks in a row and the girl just wants an engagement and marriage, but I think the end result is the same and waiting does teach you a lot about patience and unconditional love.
There are pros and cons to waiting and many reasons why girls end up waiting, but I don’t think waiting has to be a horrible experience. It’s hard, yes, but I don’t consider myself “unlucky” or not on the “same page” as my fiancé. In the end, I want all of our ducks in a row too and I want him to be ready and excited.
Congrats on your engagement! It’s sweet he proposed to you when you didn’t expect it.
Post # 4
i never was, and so glad i wasnt after some of the things ive seen on the waiting boards. we knew early on we were going to get married, and it didnt come up again until he proposed three years later
Post # 5
We were together for 5 months and decided to get married. The only waiting I did was for the ring to be flown to and back from NY for sizing. I’m glad my FI and I were on the same page. Like glittermoon said though, it’s not really luck and waiting isn’t all bad. The waiting ladies have time to plan and save a bit, they get a head start! 🙂
Post # 6
@EmilyJean:I can’t understand why some would wait so long. This question haunts the waiting board. 🙂 But it’s also something that can be answered if you read the waiting board. A lot of bees on that board are out of college, settled in their careers and dealing with guys who are still dragging their feet despite promises. And despite their partners telling them repeatedly that they don’t need a ring, or a fancy proposal, or a big wedding. Their partners are literally asking for nothing material other than the question followed by the eventual piece of legal paper. It sucks. And I’m so happy you were able to find someone who did what he could to make it happen for you, who didn’t make you wait. That’s really wonderful! 🙂
Post # 7
@claireos: I agree!
@EmilyJean: How wonderful for you that you avoided “the wait.” I have two very close friends that had NO wait! I have another friend that was in the same position as many of the waitingbees, like myself… and the wait is not fun nor is it all that bad either. It’s a very personal situation to each bee, like each relationship. As a waitingbee I often find myself “validating” my wait to other people when they ask why we’re not engaged yet, and what it comes down to is that it really doesn’t matter. He will ask when he is ready and I will say yes! 🙂
Post # 8
We made a mutual decision to get married four months into dating and had a long engagement. Even if it hadn’t happened that way, I am NOT the type to wait–I take matters into my own hands and would have proposed to him.
Post # 9
@glittermoon: I echo everything you said .
Post # 10
Mine proposed a year earlier than expected too. But we talked about marriage previously so I really wasn’t hoping for a will-you-marry-me like proposal, it was such a surprise.
Post # 11
@EmilyJean: I’m waiting so long because we ARE on the same page. I’m very lucky to have an extremely supportive SO who encourages me to follow my dream even though it means we will have to delay getting married and having kids. We didn’t want a long engagement and have opted for a longer courtship instead.
As glittermoon said, there are pros and cons to waiting, but waiting isn’t necessarily a horrible experience. Afterall, my mother always said, “Good things come to those who wait!” 🙂
Post # 12
I was never in the waiting period. We had talked about marriage & knew someday we wanted to! It was a complete surprise when my husband proposed & I thought it would have been much, much later! But I was so glad when he did! 🙂
Post # 13
Honestly… The only reason why I consider myself “waiting” is because I found a ring hiding in our home 🙂 So yes, I am waiting on an impending proposal. If I hadn’t been a sneaky sneak I think I would have been happy with where we were… But deep down I would have wanted things to moved forward.
Post # 14
Thank you ladies for more insight to why waiting bees.. wait. It’s unfair of me to say I would never wait as long as I see on the boards but everyone does have different circumstances. I also have to look at my fiance’s background.. his younger brother is already married and in his parents’ book he’s a ways behind so he was long over due for being ready. We have a seven year age gap so really I’m not the waiting one in the situation- he is. If it were up to him we’d be married right now but I want it to be perfect and I have to keep my promise with my dad about putting my education first. I guess sometimes I just see girls in real life like a few I work with who have been with their boyfriend for less than 6 months, 20 years old and already waiting. It’s almost as if girls get wedding fever like baby fever seems to go around. (Remember, I am in the midwest) That gives me a negative connotation with waiting.
I see where there are other circumstances like glittermoon and I do give out lots of kudos and respect to have that kind of patience!
Post # 15
@EmilyJean: Six months seems a little early to be full on waiting, but I guess it depends on the couple? Especially if they’re dating someone around 20, the guy probably isn’t going to be ready for a few years. I think most of the girls on the waiting boards are waiting because of the reasons I mentioned before…not because being with someone for 6 months is soooo long to wait ;P I have more patience than that, otherwise I’d go crazy.
Sometimes it’s hard to not be jealous and be patient when people who have been dating shorter get engaged, but I just remind myself that whether we’re dating, roomies, engaged, or married…we’re still “us” and each moment is a gift with him 🙂 It’s kinda nice having it to look forward to and having time to really enjoy it…even if somedays I would love to just be married. Haha. It’s easier because we live together, but still. I’m getting super sick of my last name. It’ll be that much more exciting when I get to change it, though 🙂