(Closed) Never Orgasmed…

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Have you tried it yourself?  It’s really hard to tell your partner how to do something when you don’t know how yourself.  The main way that women orgasm is by stimulating their clitoris, which doesn’t really occur during sex.  The only way to figure it out is to practice!

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

The whole situation sounds like something that wouldn’t help, honestly! The longer you sit at that plateau, the more you stress, the more your boyfriend is stressing, etc. Try to figure it out for yourself, THEN bring your boyfriend into the mix. once you know it’s possible, i think that may be half the battle

Post # 6
Member
46155 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

This is a great book to learn to orgasm on your own and then share the experience with your partner,

For Yourself by Lonnie Garfield Barbach

Post # 7
Member
363 posts
Helper bee

Maybe you’re putting too much pressure on yourself?  It’s hard for me to get there and I’ve found the more I think about it the harder it is.  When I just let go and relax and don’t think about it it happens.  I’ve also found that when I drink and get a little drunk I’m usually a little more crazy and into it and it happens a lot easier.  It probably took my fiance about a year to get me to orgasm and I knew how bad he wanted me to and I found that was all that I would focus on when we were doing it.  The more I thought about it the more elusive it became.  I would also get to a plateau and then I realized that I just wasn’t letting go completely.  I don’t know if this will help you any but thought I’d share my experience.  Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Marie Gabrielle

For a lot of women, if they start out on their own with a vibrator, they are able to start transitioning that kind of orgasm into orgasms via sex.  It helps!

Post # 9
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@julies1949: Precisely what I was going to suggest! It’s an excellent book.

 

My only other bit of advice is to try and shift the focus of lovemaking away from you having an orgasm and on to your experiencing as much pleasure and sensation as possible. Get comfortable with touching yourself and find out what you like. Also – use a good water soluable lubricant during your hmmm..explorations. Makes a big difference in the level of sensation!

Post # 10
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Ditto the vibrator suggestion.  It can be a fun toy for you to use together and will help you “get there.” 

Post # 11
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think this is normal.  I think the best thing to do is purchase a vibrator.  You can sit back, by yourself, and RELAX.  Tell youself- “No worries.  This thing has brand new batteries in it, and I will orgasm before this thing dies.  I have got all day.”  It WILL work! 

Post # 12
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Go purchase a discreet, small, fun vibrator. Not some mega huge scary thing, but something dainty and cute. Visit Tasty’s if there is one near you. I was sexually abused as a kid and could not orgasm at all until i started using a vibrator. Now I can and do orgasm regularly during sex. Good luck 🙂

Post # 13
Member
990 posts
Busy bee

to be honest, it may not be your time, if you know what i mean. when i first had sex, it was painful and i could never get into it. but then when i started to enjoy it, i never reached my moment. it was until years later when i finally found out what made your eyes go into the back of your head. you might have to familiarize yourself with your body and what you like a little more.

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