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I think alot of people think Thank you notes are passe and too formal... that being said, my mom would be MORTIFIED if I didn't send them out! She taught me better than that. I would sent them a nice little note asking them if they did indeed recieve it, just to "make sure"!
I HATE not getting TY cards. I think it is so incredibly rude. My sister eloped, but months later when she told us, my mom insisted on throwing her a small reception. I live out of town and couldn't make it but sent her a large gift card, well that was 2 years ago and I'm still waiting. Verbal thanks is NOT enough IMHO. Also sent a gift along with family to a baby shower this summer that I couldn't attend and have yet to get a TY card. You're right, this is just plain rude. Unfortunately not much you can do about it. :(
I think a lot of ppl just don't do ty notes anymore. I don't think it's OK....I feel it's incredibly rude. But I didn't get a ty note from my cousin for his wedding, and I didn't get one from my FSIL for her wedding gift either. Some people are just clueless and even if you wouldn't normally write a ty note for an xmas or b-day present, I think you still should for a wedding gift.
While I totally agree that thank you notes are necessary and that it's rude not to send one, I will say that I think that October 5 is a little early to be writing off a sometime-in-June wedding. I got married at the end of July and still have a fair number of TYs to go. Do I wish I'd finished them all, yes, but I also think I deserve a little bit of slack. I want mine out before our three-month mark, but I think a six-month window is fair.
Get on it then! ;) The traditional window is two months; now I see people saying three, and some people think a year is appropriate. I am going to have to disagree that six months is fair; I think it's rude to people who sent a gift not to thank them for it in a timely manner. Everyone is busy, but I guarantee some of your guests will be very annoyed with you if they haven't received a thank you by the end of the year.
i think that's very rude as well! but i have been guilty of not sending the thank you cards which is a huge no no (so sorry people that bought stuff for my son's shower almost 9 years ago!!) but i do agree that people don't think to send the thank you gifts sometimes life just happens and they forget... i'd at least thank everyone with a phone call though!! (i did that and actually a great nurse at the job that i was working at when i was preggo with my son made an awesome blanket for him that he still has in his room sigh.. i wish i kept in touch to send a pic)....
i must say to those that are reading and haven't sent thank you cards in the past to please break the habit and send them it will make you feel so much better especially since people took the time to think of you on your special day.
I've been to weddings and baby showers and whatnot where I have not received thank you cards. I think it is terribly rude. My parents taught me and my FI's parents taught him to always write thank you cards. I still write thank you cards to my grandmother when she gives me a birthday card. I don't know what happened to etiquette but I think it's absolutely terrible. People should always write thank you cards, especially for wedding gifts.
Um, they opened the gifts during the reception? Really? That's bizarre. Technically, while they still have time to get a thank you card to you, they at least could have verbally thanked you by now.
When I read the title of this post, I was going to say something like "Oh, maybe they lost the gift/card and didn't know it was from you" or something... but after reading that they opened it in front of you and didn't even acknowledge you then I definitely won't make excuses for them. Let's hope a card comes soon, and if not, I think I would find a way to mention my gift to them in my next conversation with the couple, just to see what they say - you know, like "Oh we loved your wedding. how are you liking that plaque we made you?" or something.
Yeah, I would have to agree with everyone else...its rude and no you dont have up to a year to send a thank you note! I also dont buy the "Ive been super busy"....were your guests too busy to spend $300+ on a flight ticket, $100+ on hotel, take days off from work and purchase a gift...I dont think so! So the least the bride/groom can do is take 5 minutes our of your super busy day to write a note.
Very rude of them! I bought my friend (who's wedding I was a BM in) a $60 gift and didn't recieve a thank you card until 6 months later. For the longest time I thought she was really rude. I spent all that time and money being in her wedding, and bought her what I consider an expensive gift for a poor grad student like me and she couldn't even send a thank you.
Some people are just so ignorant and inconsiderate! Maybe they will send you one, but from the sound of the type of couple they are, they probably won't.
Did they cash the check? Perhaps the card and check were separated from the album and plaque and lost so they don't know who the gifts were from?
I've had people never send me thank you notes for baby shower, wedding shower, and wedding gifts. It is super rude.
I honestly get really irked by people who don't send thank you cards or say thank you. I went to one wedding and gave a $100 cash gift in a card and never recieved a thank you - part of me always wonders if they recieved the gift (since it was cash there's no way to tell). On top of that we traveled across the country for the wedding.
I know I should let it go, but it really just served as a reminder to not let these things get forgotten in my own life.
I'm with Mrs2thDr - being "too busy" is crap. "Busy" is all a matter of priorities - not that I'm a saint who's never put these things off (I sure have) but at least call it what it is - it's not important enough to you.
I think that is totally rude. I did not attend my cousin's wedding last June, but I made sure I mailed her a gift card soon after. I never got a thank you note. At first, I thought maybe she didn't get the mail. Then I checked with my mom who actually went to the wedding and left her gift there. No note! So rude. I have to say, I kinda wish I'd never sent a gift.
I agree with those that stated that the "too busy" excuse is a load of hoohaa. We took the time to go to their wedding as last minute and it was on a Friday so we had to take time off work, travel many miles from MI to TN, go out and buy a gift etc... It's just rude for them not to thank us, plain and simple. The money we gifted them was in cash not check and I was sitting right next to them when they opened the gift, they got all of it....card, money, album and plaque and they just looked at it so I know it was all there and our names were on the card and gift tag. Like I stated prior, these people are not busy, they are home all the time doing nothing. I would have been fine if they had glanced over and simply thanked us, no need for a card, no need to thank us twice. I think that thank you cards should be priority, I understand if you had a large guest count that it may take a little bit of time to get thank you cards in the mail but, we were two of about 15 guests. I think the time limit on thank you card etiquette should be no more than two months- I presonally feel that is ample time. :)
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Hi Hive,
this past June my FI and I were invited to a very small wedding, we were actually the only friends invited which was a huge honor of course. There were no invites sent, we were asked over the phone to attend with just three weeks notice. FI and I traveled from Michigan to Tennessee for this very short daytime wedding (3 hours total for ceremony and reception). We gave a gift of $150 in a card, a beautiful leather picture album which was not cheap and also a very cute name plaque that we hand painted at one of those fun ceramic shops- it turned out really well and we thought it would be a cute twist. The couple opened our card and gift and the other guests cards (we were the only people who gave a wrapped gift also) during the reception which I thought was a little odd/different. They never even looked over and said thank you at all, didn't even make eye contact.......so I figured they would send a card thanking us for the gift, it's now October and we still haven't recieved a thank you card or a thank you during a few phone conversations we've had. I personally think that it is incredibly rude to not thank someone for a gift, I don't care about a thank you card but, at least some kind of appreciation or aknowledgement via phone would have been nice- I know this couple are not busy at all so they have no excuses. I also sent a baby shower gift to a friend a little while back, the gift was over $100 and this person was aware of that because it was on her registry and we never recieved a thank you card. Now I know some folk think that it's acceptable to send a thank you card out months after the event however I would have to disagree, I think if someone takes the time to share in your event and buy a gift regardless of price you should at least have the decency to express your gratitude.
I'm wondering, is this fairly common now or do I just have rude friends? Haha! Do you guys have any similar stories?