(Closed) Never though my hometown would be a foreign destination!

posted 8 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I totally understand what you’re going through. I’m from Southern California, moved to Sweden (Fi’s hometown). We decided to marry after I moved here so timing wasn’t an issue since Sweden grants residency to girlfriends/boyfriends (no marriage or plans of marriage needed). But trying to figure out where to get married was when the headaches came!

I wanted to get married in California, with my grandma there, friends, and family. But it proved to be way too complicated since US customs agents are crazy giving Fi the 3rd degree everytime we go back home. Although he technically doen’t need a Visa to visit the States, they will ask if he intends to marry there (which we will), so they’ll ask for a Fiance Visa, but technically, that’s only for people that intend to stay in the States (which we won’t)! Another thing is the Fiance Visa is crazy expensive and it takes awhile to process and it’s only valid for a short time after it’s approved. So either we try to book everything in advance and HOPE it gets approved or we wait until it gets approved and hope to book everything with only 3-4 months notice.

It was a nightmare. At one point in time I looked into all the other possible countries – make it a destination wedding, so everyone has to travel. But that wasn’t much easier. So I gave up. In the midst of all our inquaries, we realized that the most important thing to us is to get married and neither of us really like attention anyway. So we decided to have a very private ceremony, just the two of us, here in Sweden. It’ll be minutes before sunset, in a small pavillion by a lake he used to play in when he was a child.

Then 2 days later, we’re off to our honeymoon!

All friends and family will get pictures! Laughing

In the end, it just about what the two of you want (either if it’s with family, large or small, or not).

Post # 4
Member
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I forgot to add: Back in my hometown, there was something called Engaged Encounter Weekend, it was like a crash course in Catholic marriage prep. So instead of a period of a few weeks, it was all done on a very tight schedule. You sleep there (get a roomie) and you go to class, eat, go to class, eat, repeat until all the hours are done. It was very intense, but it may be possible to do it while you’re back in the States (if they offer a similar course in your town.)

Post # 7
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I did the engaged encounter and it was a long weekend. Totally worth it though. It would be all done and you wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. I would set up the engaged encounter and if you find out your pastor can skype your sessions then cancel, if he can’t then you are all set up to be finished.

Post # 8
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

If it helps, I’m in a similar situation (but in Germany) and our Priest let us do the marriage prep over here. In the end, I found our day long class to be completely different than the ones I heard about in the US, however, the priest understood that it would be nearly impossible to do in the US, especially since, as you mentioned, it would come at the cost of precious days with family. Ultimately, he just needed the certificate of completion from our local Catholic office and he never asked questions about the content. Suprisingly, about half the couples in our course contained one international (Mexico, Italy, Italy) half.

In finding the course, we got lucky in that a colleague of mine was also preparing for a Catholic marriage and she found the information online. Ask your FI to ask around or do some inteernet searching. I would also suggest being honest with the priest about your time concerns and presenting him what you have found locally. I know some priests are more intense than others but you may be able to get away with a similar course if you can produce a certificate in another language.

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