(Closed) Never thought I would fire a bridesmaid…

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2010

you’re a year out and already drama. ick. i usually like to fix things and avoid conflict, but this one might not be worth it. at the very least you need to let her know that you will not stand for her bad mouthing your family.

Post # 4
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Cut the cord! You don’t need her… do it now while its easy since nothing has been purchased.

Post # 5
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wow that was so not her place to say those things about your sister and your mom to you!! 
If I were you, I would try and talk to her over coffee.  Explain to her that what she said really hurt your feelings.  Let her know that even though you apreciate her opinions, it probably shouldn’t have been verbalized.  If she apoligizes and you can tell she really means it, I might give her a second chance, otherwise you might have to say you’ve decided to just have your sister (and whoever else) standing next to you on your day.

Has she been known to blurt things out like that before?  Maybe she is one of those people who just doesn’t think before they speak, and doesn’t realize it might actually hurt your feelings!!

Post # 6
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would talk to her first and addrress the issue first and the go from there. Even mention to her that you are questioning having her in the party…see how that conversation goes. She might be rude and nasty in response which you can then use as an opportunity to let her go, or maybe she will aplogize and stop! 🙂

Post # 7
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@sam5858: She definitely doesn’t sound supportive. Maybe see if you can sit down and have a heart to heart with her about the things she said about your sister and your mom. Let her know how important their opinions are to you and you are not being pushed around by them but are grateful for the advice they give.

Give her a chance to shape up, but if she doesn’t I’d gracefully ask her to step down or offer her the option of stepping down if she doesn’t like the fact that you are getting opinions from your sister and mom.

As for the weight loss thing, you could say something like, “I’m really happy you are having so much sucess losing weight. I’m trying really hard as well and it’s just not coming off for me. I love to hear about your big successes, but it makes it harder for me when you let me know about ever lb you lose.” Or something like that. that’s not as tactful as I’d like to be, but let her know how her actions are affecting you.

Post # 8
Member
1537 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

All I have to say is this , “blood is thicker than water…”

Post # 10
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am by know means a drama/stress person, in fact I won’t put up with it.  That’s why I fired a bridesmaid LESS THAN TWO WEEKS away from the wedding.  Best move ever.

Post # 11
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t know about kicking her out the wedding.  You need to tell her the business first. Let her know how out of line she has been, and that she is putting your friendship in jeopardy, not just her part in the wedding. And be prepared that kicking her out of the wedding may also cancel your friendship, so are you also prepared to lose your friend. Not a fun choice, but sometimes we outgrow folks.

Post # 12
Member
5389 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think you should address the issues. Let her know how you feel. If she apologizes and backs off, then you may not have to kick her out. If she doesn’t apologize, then you will know where you stand with her.

It sucks that you are dealing with this. Good Luck!

P.S. Welcome to Weddingbee!

Post # 13
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Oh man, you sitll have almost a year left. This seems to be the kind of girl that will just get worse as it goes on.

Cut her loose, lady. It’s for your own sanity.

Welcome to the Hive, btw!

Post # 14
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

FIRED! No seriously, I don’t think I could handle it. You still have time to try for some “corrective” action if you think you can curb her crazy talk and in-your-face weight updates (sheesh! I mean really? is that necessary? I think I’d develop a tick everytime I saw I got a new email!).

Talk to her about her behavior before you fire her, but if she doesn’t improve…snip…snip…cut those bridesmaid ties!

Welcome to wedding bee! You’ll quickly become an addict like the rest of us! It’s just too easy to get great advice here!

Post # 15
Member
5 posts
Newbee

We have a rule in my family…you can’t fix it if you don’t know it’s wrong. I would encourage you to tell her how you’re feeling and let her know what you will and won’t tolerate. If she doesn’t come around, boot her.

 

Post # 16
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with citybee5. And I also think she is JEALOUS. But, talk to her and see how seh reacts…that will really determine what kind of friend she is.

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