Weddingbee boards

Please tell me if I am wrong and should just suck it up and deal with it.But I am definately venting... My friend is getting married in the next few weeks, and is having her parents pay for the wedding. She lives in NY with her fiance and his family, while her family and bridesmaids are here in Jersey. The wedding is going to be there and thats about 4 hours away, fine. What isn't fine is that she never told us what hotels were around until maybe a month ago. Which wouldn't be such a problem if it wasn't in a place where hotels are hard to come by in the summertime. She never blocked off rooms for her bridal party or guests. I also don't think she understands how much of a financial burden this is becoming. I have had to pay for my dress, shoes, hotel, gas to get there, tolls, bridal shower and gift, wedding gift and hair and make up. This is becoming very, very expensive, especially since I just lost my job. This is where I probably sound like a brat, but she is making our bridal party gifts! It's going to be jewelry made out of stuff she got at the dollar store, most likely. I just find that tacky, I mean jeez you haven't had to pay for anything the entire time, pay for my hair if you want to thank me for being in your wedding don't give me something that will end up in a landfill somewhere in NY! OH and we never got invitations so we don't know when ( time) or where the rehearsal and wedding are! the bride seems to have just dropped off the face of the planet....HELLOOO.. honestly I love her and I wouldn't mind paying for this stuff if she just acknowledged that we are doing this for her. I have been in 2 other weddings and they weren't this unpleasant. Please tell me other people have had this happen to them. This is my last wedding ever

I do realize that weddings are expensive, I have been in weddings before, but she has had <span style="text-decoration: underline;">3 years to figure things out and I think that is plenty of time to get things at least in some kind of order. Some of us are car pooling out there, but again it leads to ...where are we carpooling to? I know the town of the reception and the hotel, but the wedding is in another town. She is m.i.a. right now and the wedding is rapidly approaching. I just see certain things that are kind of important that she has overlooked (blocking a hotel for bridal party and guests who don't know the area, letting the bridal party know when and where the rehearsal and wedding are...) This wedding is stressing me out and I'm not the one getting married. We have talked about getting hair done and she seems to dance around the subject. I'll probably get out of it though seeing how she's missing and never told us where to go for that either. I know weddings don't have to be like this because I worked with a girl that recently got engaged and will be married next summer and has all the big things done already. I love my friend and I am happy for her but she makes me tired and stressed out haha.

Firstly, the things i've learned you're expected to pay for as a BM is dress, shoes, hair, travel, hotel, shower & gift, and wedding gift. When you agree to be a BM, those are things that go without saying you must pay for yourself.

With that aside, i think it's incredibly disrespectful that the bride is keeping you in the dark. As a bride myself, i go out of my way to make sure my girls know EVERYTHING thats going on!

I strongly think that you should talk to her, calmly. Planning a wedding is a lot of work & chaos. Give her the benefit of a doubt and maybe she honestly overlooked the whole hotel thing. Obviously don't attack her, bc that will just cause a fight. But make her aware of the situation. And ask her for an invitation too, even as a momento would be nice!!

I knew that I would be paying for things, that was a given. It's not a big deal, i did understand it, but as the wedding gets closer there seem to be "mysterious price hikes" She's home next weekend to spend the week with her family before the big day so I'll have a chance to speak with her. I just thought it was funny because we were are an arts and crafts store looking at DIY favors and there was this plastic flower that would look nice on a favor and she looked right at me and said "this looks alot like what i'm using to make the jewelry for your bridemaids gifts"...seriously that only looks good on a party favor, not on a human being! I went out and bought her some really nice wine and flute glasses, maybe I should return them and make her some wine glasses out of dixie cups, a sticks if we are going the cheap route. ( BTW I'm not going to do that). Just reading the other posts, so many of you are seriously thinking about what you are going to do for your bm and I feel that I have been there for her for so much of this process (3 years of her changing her mind about venues and dresses and everything) and I don't think she is putting much thought into what she could do for us. Like I said before I love my friend and i'll be there for her. Everyone will be happy and it'll be a good time. I'm really seeing this as a learning experience, things I will and won't do when planning my wedding.