(Closed) New and needing lots of encouragement.

posted 6 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Welcome to WeddingBee!

I’m so sorry for the loss of your father. That is difficult under any circumstances, and of course doubly so as you are preparing for marriage. Of course you’re finding wedding planning difficult when you’re still grieving.

I think that’s actually a really good reason – and explanation to offer people – for keeping things on the simple side. Is a courthouse wedding not an option because of family pressure, or because your Fiance doesn’t want it, etc? Even if you do end up having something bigger than that, it’s definitely okay to say to people, “I’m not comfortable having 200 guests/a whole bunch of bridesmaids/a big fireworks display/whatever at this wedding while I’m still mourning my father. It just doesn’t feel appropriate.”

At the same time, it’s important to remember that both joy and sorrow are inextricably part of life, and sometimes in the middle of great grief, an occasion like a wedding can be a real blessing and a reminder that in spite of the loss you’ve all suffered, your family is renewing itself. That’s something to celebrate.

Best wishes to you in your planning! I hope you find much help and encouragement here.

Post # 4
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

Welcome to the Hive.

That’s a lot of life changes to go through all at once. 

Post # 6
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Soon2B_MrsS:  Welcome to the boards. I am so sorry to hear about your dad.

I think you need to do what is right for you. There is no rule that says you HAVE to plan a big wedding. Do the courthouse thing. Seriously. Why spend a lot of time and money planning for something you don’t really want?

My bf and I have decided to elope. My family doesn’t seem to care about us getting married so why would we go out of our way to put on an event that will most likely be unappreciated, stressful, and awkward? We’re going to go to our favorite hotel in the Rocky mountains and do something really simple and quick.

It’s your wedding, so you need to do what is right for you and your fiance.

Post # 7
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Soon2B_MrsS:  One of my friends got married on her dad’s birthday after he had passed away.  She has been married for over 10 years now and says it’s the best thing she could have done.  She took a day that she could have been sad and mourning and gave herself a reason to celebrate. 

I am truly sorry for your loss.  I lost my mom not too long ago and planning my wedding without her around has been a complete emotional roller coaster.  The girls on this board are here to help you and support you though.  I’m glad you found your way here =)

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