- 3 years ago
I have been a lurker on these boards for the last couple months, but decided today it was time to join. I guess I’m just looking for some reassurance or and outside perspective to help me work through my feelings and not let the thoughts of “when will it happen?!” completely consume me. Some quick background: I just turned 30, SO is 29. Been together for 2.5 years. We moved in together after 6 months, and then this past April we bought a house together. Prior to the decision to buy a home together, we talked at length about marriage, children, finances, etc. to ensure we were both on the same page and wanted the same things. We do. We decide to buy now rather then wait as the housing market was back in an upswing and we wanted to buy before prices got too high. He did let me know “If we buy now, there won’t be a ring for a while.” which I completely understood and can appreciate as both our savings were wiped out when we bought the house.
A few weeks before we closed on the house, I overheard (completely by accident) a conversation he had with his grandfather. His grandfather is very traditional (old school Catholic) and was not supportive of us living together before marriage, nevermind buying a house together. When his grandfather said “When are you going to make an honest woman out of her?” he replied with “We will be engaged by the end of the summer”. So naturally, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since then!
We’ve only had one conversation about rings, back in April, as well. It wasn’t really a conversation, per se. More me offering information and him (hopefully) listening, haha. He had bought me diamond earrings for my last birthday and came across the paperwork for them. He was going to give it to me so I could take them in to get cleaned for free, but decided he would take them in himself. So of course I joke with him “Are you looking for an excuse to go to the jewelry store?” and he go “No…”. So then I said “Well, just so you know, what I want can’t be bought right out of a case”, to which he replies “What, they don’t sell Radiant cuts in the store?”. I still to do this day am not sure how he knew I wanted a Radiant, I suspect he snooped on my secret Pinterest board.
Anyway, with the excitement of moving into our new home, fixing it up and making it our own, I honestly didn’t think much about it. I just recently had my 30th birthday, so of course for the few weeks leading up to it I was wondering if it might happen then. Needless to say, it didn’t. While out for dinner the other night, coincidentially there was a wedding going on, so of course I used that as an excuse to bring it up. He spoke very openly and comfortably about us getting married, what he would want for a wedding, who would be in the wedding party, etc. But as soon as I tried to bring up timeframes, he put a halt to the conversation.
So here we are, August 15th, rapidly approaching the end of summer, and I can’t help but constantly think about it. I’m not yet at the point of feeling hopeless by any means, but I am worried that come fall if we aren’t engaged, I will be really upset and frustrated. At this point, it’s more about my age and desire to start a family soon. We both want to be married before we start our family, but my biological clock is starting to creep up in volume and I can’t help but stress… Help