- 7 years ago
I’ve been lurking for a few weeks now, and decided last night that it’s time for me to properly introduce myself. I want to thank you all for sharing your stories so openly and honestly–they’ve helped me get through some difficult weeks of the dreaded…waiting.
Yep, I too am waiting for Mr. Mountain to get down on his knee and ask me to be his wife. I am 99% sure that this is going to happen before we move in together (May 1 or June 1) because I lived with an almost-fiance once before and swore to myself that I’d never do it again. I made this clear from the beginning of our relationship, and although it’s definitely more important to me than him, I am trying my darndest to let go and trust when he says he knows it’s important to me and he’s “trying to make it happen.” We had a big talk about it a couple of weeks ago and both said that we do want to marry each other, it’s just a matter of when. So that was great to hear. The “trying” part is financial; we’ve both got decent jobs, but Boulder is EXPENSIVE and he lives alone, so socking money away is tough. He also has a bit of debt that I am fully aware of, and I’ve accepted that I will be helping him pay that off once we’re married (I have a little to, and hey, marriage is a package deal!). So, he doesn’t want to put a ring on a credit card or do any sort of financing that will increase his debt load. The smart girl in me appreciates this; the bride-to-be in me just wants to be engaged! 😉
We’ve been officially dating/committed for almost 1.5 years and on-and-off for a year before that–that may seem on the fast side to be wanting a proposal, but I’m almost 30 and he’s 31, and I’d like to have a baby absolutely no later than 33 and be married for at least a year before we TTC, all of which has been talked about. Being a guy, he doesn’t have the biological clock ticking like I do, but he understands where I’m coming from. We’re pretty good about talking things out.
I do have a dream ring in mind that is not crazy expensive, but it does include a nice-sized diamond, and he has pictures. He asked my dad’s permission when he came home with me over Christmas, and he told me afterwards that he did so and that my dad said yes. We had talked about a wedding happening in 2011 several months ago, and we both want something simple and intimate (possibly in his parents’ backyard), but I’ve always dreamed of a summer, outdoor wedding. Also, my MOH-to-be is my cousin who is in grad school, so basically Aug is the latest it could be for us to make everything work. During our big convo a few weeks ago, he told me he was feeling pressured to make Aug 2011 happen. I told him that the LAST thing I want him to feel is pressure, and that I want him to propose when it’s right for US and not because he has some external deadline. So, we decided to take Aug 2011 off the table. It’s actually been surprisingly freeing for me; I think I was starting to panic about how I was going to pull even a small wedding together so quickly. At the end of our talk, he said, “Just because Aug isn’t a deadline doesn’t mean it can’t be a goal.” Awww. Although I know that, even for a backyard small wedding you need more than 4 months to pull it together, it was still a nice thing to hear.
So, now I wait. I feel even closer to him after this conversation, and things have been great, but I’m definitely doing the “could it be this weekend?!” thing, every weekend. I guess I just wanted to tell my story and find out what you girls are doing to keep your sanity. I think part of this is that I’m turning 30 in May, and while I’m trying not to freak out it feels like a big deal, and it would be nice to have my ducks in a row before then. I could also see him proposing right around that time though, so we’ll see.
What do you girls do to stay sane through the waiting? Besides reading WeddingBee of course. 😉
Thanks for listening!