- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
I got married to my best friend of university ! we were friends for few years and then dated for few years. we just got married last month and due to some reasons i am very confused right now about this marriage !
when we decided to get married. his parents didnt accept me and were total against this wedding. ( reason being they didnt like the fact that their son chose me over their choice of girl). there was so much drama for 8-9 months ( including abusive language, badmouthing me and my family in front of everyone, not letting him move out, emotional blackmailing etc). his parents agreed after a huge step me and my husband took which was we legally got married. After taking this step, his parents agreed to get us married according to rituals, culture ( we are hindus) just to save their reputation in front of society ! my parents took the whole expense ( 100%) of this wedding which included 350 people !! and it was a very big and fancy wedding too. my husband promised me before the wedding that i will never have to deal with his parents since his parents hate me so much ( i have same educational background as my husband, same age, same culture, same religion, same subreligion, so there isn’t any reason to hate me).
my husband went to different province after he finished university. his parents and sister also live with him. NOONE and i repeat NOONE supported me and him from his family in those 8 months we suffered for no reason ! i even almost got married ( arranged marriage ) because of his parents not accepting me. i work in one province and he works in another ( it takes 4 hours in flight to get to each other’s place). i am ready to quit my work ( even though i am working far way better job than him and making decent amount of money ) but after the wedding we went for our honeymoon and he dropped me to my parents and he went to live with his parents. i was ready to quit my job, to leave my province, to move to a complete new place, find a new job, start from scratch) but he is asking me to wait for few months and then he will move out ????????????? am i crazy to get mad at him for this ? in those 8 months ( when he was trying to convince his parents that i was good enough for him he continued living with his parents) and after the wedding too he is with THEM instead of ME !!
his argument is patience is the key to happiness ! but in one month of marriage, we are already fighting like anything because distance is killing us. and the fact that i have to deal with his parents, i have to take his parents’ permission if i want to fly to see him to their place( we lived with his parents for 3 days according to the tradition before we went for our honeymoon. his mom made me work like an animal and almost killed me making all housechores in those 3 days), the fact that i had to take their permission even if we want to go watch movie ( in 3 days we stayed there), the fact that i have to wait for his parents to go to sleep to talk to my husband, and the fact that HE IS STILL LIVING WITH THEM is killing me and making me really angry !!
did i make a mistake by getting in this mess? one month into marriage and i am already very unhappy about this marriage !!
i am very confused ! please help !!
( my husband is willing to move out but asking me to wait for couple of months just because he still wants to keep good relations with his parents and needs time to find a good excuse to move out to live with his own wife !! we are living in different provinces right now – just after the 15 days of the wedding. and there is not gauranteed time of when i will get to move in with him. and the only reason why we are living away is HIS PARENTS! am i over reacting ? )