- 4 years ago
Hi! I’m new! Nice to meet you all!!! I am so excited to start posting 🙂 I’ve been a couple month visitor of the wedding bee waiting threads, but I’m getting impatient and need some reassurance! I’m trying not to get my hopes up!
I have been dating my boyfriend for about nine months now. He is 31 and I am 25. Yes I know it’s soon and yes I know I’m young J When we first started dating he was the one who initiated the “What do you want from this?” conversation. He is from a culture that does not even date at all, has dated a couple of girls he learned were very wrong for him since moving to the USA and was not shy that his goal in dating this time was marriage. Plus I think he is of an appropriate age to have such goals. I am young, so I was not used to such a forward conversation so early on in a relationship (a couple months in), but after evaluating what my dreams were I could definitely agree that my goals in dating were marriage, children, and most importantly a nice relationship with someone I loved and who was my best friend. Needless to say, now I’m getting excited for all of these things he put in my head!! He treats me like a princess, his family loves me (even though some of them do not speak English), I love his family, same with my family, and we get along perfectly.
We are both physicians. Well, he is. I will be soon. He just moved and started a job about 10 hours from where we met/I am currently living. I still have another six months until I finish medical school. He wants me to move to where he is after I graduate (about six months from now), but I have made it very clear from the beginning that I will not move my life to a city where I literally know nobody except for him without being engaged. I will also definitely not live with someone until I am married, but he wouldn’t either. He understands my sentiment and has said numerous times that it’s a fair way of thinking on my end and he wouldn’t expect anything different. I am not the type to set a timeline (let alone so soon into a relationship). In fact, I’ve had a couple other multi-year relationships and never even thought of such a thing. After reading this site, I realized timelines seem to be a common thing to discuss!
Anyway, knowing that I will not move across the country for him without being engaged, he still continues to talk about us starting to look at homes to buy that we could raise a family in starting in October or November. He talks about us getting a puppy that will live with me (his apartment doesn’t allow animals) until we move in together in 2014. We talk about our plans for the future. We had a conversation about his goals for when he turns 50 a week or two ago and I was clearly in them. He talks about our kids and me working part time to raise them (which I am perfectly okay with!). He talks about all of these exciting things and how lucky he is to be with me and I feel like things are moving in the right direction! I will also say I never initiate these conversations because in my opinion the ball is in his court at this point. Once he brings them up, though, I can’t stop thinking about them!!!!!
However, other than saying my engagement requirement is fair, he has yet to tell me his timeline on proposing. He has no problem assuming we will be together (married) a year from now and constantly talks about us being together. He does have his board exam in November that has him stressed out, as well as starting his new job with no money saved for at least a couple months, and is supporting his family (foreign) financially and otherwise. He is living with his family who is permanently visiting right now until we buy a house/are married, at which time he will move out. He hasn’t asked me my ring size, and I know he does not have money to buy a ring for at least a couple months… but how can he talk about all of these without a plan in mind? Maybe I’m just assuming he doesn’t have a timeline? He’s an amazing guy… one in a million… and I’m so happy with him! I just don’t want to get my hopes up! An engagement would have to happen by January or so. If he already has all these plans of us together and knows I’m a part of his plans- What’s taking him so long? At least we could be looking at rings?
Help! Is it coming soon? Am I just impatient now that I know its coming? Maybe neither? What do you think?