New Bee: Respectfully waiting on Sibling's engagement/wedding??

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Get engaged and married when it works for the two of you. As long as your events (wedding, engagement party, etc) aren’t on the same weekend, there shouldn’t be a problem.  

People don’t get an engagement or wedding “year”.  

Post # 3
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

His family does not have the right to tell him when he can or cannot get engaged. I’d tell the sister to pull the stick out, if it were me.

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Post # 4
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

legolamb:  You cannot put your life on hold to wait for someone else to feel that it has been an “acceptable” time between engagements. Are you also going to wait until after your FSIL gets married to get married yourselves? That’s a bit ridiculous. If you guys are serious about getting engaged soon, your SO needs to sit down with his sister and explain to her that she gets one day, she doesn’t get to dictate when you guys get engaged. If she got engaged in the Spring, you guys have definitely waited long enough to not “steal her thunder.” 

Post # 5
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

You can get engaged whenever you and your boyfriend are ready. Your engagement does not change or impact his sister’s engagement in any serious way.

I’m willing to bet she wants you and your boyfriend to put off engagement so that her “thunder” isn’t stolen. Well, that’s not how things work in the real world. It’s not unusual for siblings to be engaged at the same time. Both siblings can have the spotlight, both children can have their moments and get the necessary attention.  

It’s the wedding dates that need to be considered carefully so that the parents and guests aren’t put in a tough spot money and time wise. 

Don’t put your life on hold for years simply because his is sister is engaged. 

Post # 7
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

legolamb: i don’t get this at all. If his sister isn’t excited that he’s found the love of his life and wants to take the next step, why is he giving her so much consideration. 

You’re all adults. Live your own lives. 

Post # 9
Member
557 posts
Busy bee

my little brother and his gf are not engaged yet, but already have their wedding date set (Jan2016) We are in our 30s and have a baby but haven’t bought a ring yet…we are planning (but haven’t told anyone) on either a summer 2015 or summer 2016  wedding. either way we will be planning at the same time and guess what? no one cares lol. give it a month, get engaged. the end 🙂

Post # 10
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Wait, his sister is 28/29 then? Honestly I expected you to say she was 19 or something. I agree completely that you cannot base your life around someone expecting a year of spotlight.

Post # 11
Member
7214 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Did she say this to you directly, or is this your SO’s interpretation of what she said? I ask because she said she’s supportive and cool, so this sounds a little off.

Never trust a man to repeat what a woman said exactly. 🙂 this might be one of those times when you need to help him clarify things with her. I am sure she doesn’t expect you to wait endlessly while she chooses a date. That’s pretty nuts. 

Post # 12
Member
18 posts
Newbee

legolamb:  My sister got engaged 3 months before my wedding and I couldn’t have been happier for her. My cousin set her wedding for 2 months after mine, and I couldn’t be happier for her. You can get engaged, and she can be happy for y’all. Heck, it’s been 7 months now, I think that’s time enough. Do what makes you (and SO) happy.

Post # 14
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

legolamb:  But, they haven’t even set a date yet! But even if they had it shouldn’t be a big deal. Family members can be engaged at the same time, that shouldn’t be a problem at all.

 

Post # 15
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

You need to talk to him. Like a PP said it’s been 7 months. That’s plenty of time. 

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