Post # 1
I am newly engaged and have been attending a Reformed Church for a year with my fiance who was raised in a Christian family. I decided to come to the church on my own time, after losing my grandfather, and now have developed a relationship with God, and am so happy to be marrying the man of my dreams as well as continue to grow in Christ.
I have a question about dresses, since I would like to look and feel beautiful, modestly. I was wondering if any other Christian bees knew of good places to look for dresses or have any guidelines on what being modest entails… what are the dos and donts for dress picking?
Thank you in advance!
Post # 3
One of the biggest things I’ve noticed is low cut dresses. Seriously, I saw some wedding pictures on Facebook just yesterday where half her chest was showing! Although that doesn’t mean you can’t do strapless, if that’s what you want – there are strapless dresses that are actually MORE modest than ones with straps. I know a lot of people consider showing shoulders immodest, and I personally don’t understand why, but your church may have strong feelings about that so it might be something to check. And of course length, which generally isn’t a problem with wedding gowns unless you’re looking for something way outside the norm.
Post # 4
I think everyone has a different definition of modest and you are the only one who can really judge whether or not you think something is modest. My definition of modest would be something with a higher neck line, straps or sleeves.
Post # 5
My first recommendation would be to speak with someone in charge of weddings at your church, either the pastor who will be marrying you or an assistant perhaps, to learn if there are any rules or guidelines of which you need to be aware.
Post # 6
I had a hard time finding a modest dress. Most places carry designers that will add straps or a modesty pannel but 1) I didn’t want to pay $1000+ for a dress then another $300-400 for all of the alterations and 2) I wanted a dress that was designed modestly to support modest designers and so I knew what it would look like and didn’t have to worry about not liking my alterations.
For me a modest wedding dress had to have a high neckline (I have a large chest so any bit of a scoop shows everything!) and must cover my shoulders at the very least. I basically said that I don’t wear low cut tops or show my shoulders any other day pf the year (especially in church) so why would I on my wedding day!
I searched a lot on http://www.latterdaybride.com/ and at Orthodox Jewish bridal shops (there are quite a few in NY where I was living at the time) because they have pretty strict modesty standards. I ended up going to a shop on Long Island that carried hundreds and hundreds of sample gowns. I found a sample with sleeves and a high neckline that fit like a glove and it was cheap since no one likes gowns with sleeves anymore!
My advice for you is don’t give in to bridal shops that will hold up lace over your arms and try to convince you to build up a strapless dress. There are dresses out there that are what you want- without tons of money and time in alterations. I found that searching online didn’t turn up good results, there are many more options in stores (if you find the right ones!) from my experience!
Post # 7
@Seashells7: One of my major regrets of my wedding is that I chose a sweetheart dress. If I could do it all over again, I would have chosen a much more modest dress.
Davids has a new collection called Melissa Sweet, and some of the dresses have sleeves. They have V necklines, but you can add a slight panel for that. Some of the dresses are scoop necklines.
But a better idea might just be to get it custom made. Find a seamstress near you with amazing quality, and take inspiration from vintage wedding dresses – think Grace Kelly. Good luck!
Post # 8
thank you for all of the tips, I am looking forward to finding my perfect modest dress 🙂
Post # 9
@rubyred605: I can relate. I had a strapless dress with a sweetheart neckline too. I strongly dislike how I look in some of my pics because of this.
Post # 10
It depends on your definition of “modest”. I am baptist, born & bread, we do not do low cut neck lines, short skirts or anything too tight. My dress is some what of an empire/ball gown mix and is strapless. I am wearing a bolero though. I would talk to the pastor or if you have an event director in the church to get some opinions on what you should be wearing.
Post # 11
@Seashells7: What a great question! I know this is late but I really think it’s up to you. I don’t have an issue with strapless or shoulders but maybe not too much cleavage. I’ve seen some beautiful strapless gowns that cover everything. Maybe you add a bolero for the ceremony as @DevBrown05: suggested and take it off for the reception.
This is my gown: http://www.outerinner.com/goods/imagedetail?goodsid=7010 . I love that it’s “sexy” but also modest. I didn’t choose it because of my faith, although it’s important to me, I chose it because I’m very top heavy and and something that keeps me all in front and back is more flattering and I feel comforatable.
Have you already selected your dress? What did you choose?
Post # 12
I ended up chosing a beautiful dress that is very flattering, with strapps that tuck in to make strapless as an option! I will wear them in the church and them tuck them away after 🙂 I love it very very much 🙂
thank you for all of your advice!
Post # 13
@ThisDeluxeLife: YES YES! Inquiring bees wish to know!