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Does he not say anything because he doesn't care, or because it's a sore subject? I've found my FI attaches MUCH less emotional significance to my ring(s) than I do.
If it's the first, I would treat it like the two of you handle any other big purchase that one of you wants to make.
This is something that needs to be discussed with your husband. I would never dream of going behind DH's back and upgrading my ring. Then again, I also wouldn't be looking for an upgrade 4 months in.
I definitely wouldn't go behind his back and do it. I asked my DH what he thought and he said if he hadn't been able to buy me the ring of my dreams that he wouldn't mind if I upgraded...unless it had been a custom design that he had come up with. My DH also said that he wasn't attached to my ring like I am. You have to do what works for both of you-- sounds like you need to have a straight-forward convo with him! Good luck!
Yeah I dont think this is a good idea at all. Your husband got you the ring he wanted to get for you, and now you want to upgrade?
Maybe I'm in the minority, but when my then-boyfriend asked me what I wanted, I said "oval in white gold" not "one carat". I told him the shape and style and at no point put a price on it by telling him the size of the diamond. Ouch.
He's a very simple guy, and it's not behind his back by any means, he just "could care less." He's not against it , but I'm just not sure I should now, I feel like it's kind of a slap in his face, I do love my rings don’t get me wrong, but a 1ct is what I want for life. He's also grew up in a...I don't want to say poor, family with a lot of brothers and sisters so he's more frugal than I'm used to so he thinks material things shouldn’t matter. It sounds stuck up for me, and I do realize it. But if it is a cheap deal, would be getting it for the future to replace the one now be a better idea?
If this is a really good deal now, and you can afford, I say why not. 4 months, 1 year, 5 year, whatever, the end result is the same... why pass up a great deal and pay more for it later.
If he's not against it and doesn't really care, like you said, I see no harm in getting a great deal on a bigger diamond that you can use. A lot of women upgrade. Some sooner than others, yet I don't see why you should have to wait a certain amount of time to upgrade.
The only thing I would warn you about is to make sure the quality of the diamond pendant is good. It might seem like a good deal, but often times lesser quality diamonds are used for necklaces so it might make a difference if you're using it in your ring. Just something to consider.
Well if it is a really good deal, and he's okay with spending the money, it doesn't hurt to buy it and use it as a pendant while you make your decision.
If you can afford it and your H is okay with it, the buy it. There's nothing wrong with having the ring you really want
I say go for it if he's ok with it! I'm getting 2.2 carats and I'm already thinking about upgrading to 2.5! I'm a brat though :-/ lol
Maybe get the pendant now to get the deal, and save it. Wear it a few years then approach the subject of chnaging the diamond on the ring. It feels a little insensitive to do it so soon, but to each their own. If he has no problems, then go for it. BUt I would want to be sure he didn;t feel hurt and just hasn;t said so. That's just my opinion.
I agree with @Cupcake2012: get the pendant now to get the deal, and save it to upgrade later. maybe wait until the first anniversary at least. I do think 4 months is a little too soon to upgrade.
also, you say he doesn't make much money, but he got you a carat? that is by no means a small diamond. a carat can be pretty pricey. you should be happy that he spent his hard earned money on his love for you. I think you need to take a second and appreciate it for what it means.
It's up to you and your husband. You need to figure out if you can afford it. Also, decide if it's the best time. We did my upgrade 4 months BEFORE the wedding. We were in a much better financial position than when he proposed and I wanted a white gold instead of yellow (my original e-ring.) I also figured that by the time we started thinking house & kids an upgrade wouldn't be in the cards.
what diff does it make if you're doing this after 4 months or 5 years...it's your ring...if hubby doesn't mind then--talk to him and do it.
My husband didn't even care what I got, ask him...he doesn;t even remember if my stone is round or square, and he could care less as long as t was in his budget and i'm happy
i couldn't do that to my ring, it's a half carat solitaire and i love it because HE chose it. why do you have to upgrade your wedding rings? can't you get a new ring and wear it on another finger? i am very sentimental though lol
If it means that much to you, and FI doesn't mind, then go for it. I second the PP - check the quality of the pendant as things that seem to be too good to be true usually are!
Did he get you a carat?? In no way is a carat small! But discuss it with him! he may be fine with it, then maybe put the stone from your e-ring into a nice setting for a necklace that way you still have it close to you. I know the stone for me is special and I would want to keep it!
omg, this is eerie on how similar my life is to this!!! We got married after a year, and he's in the military and I found a necklace on Etsy from a lady selling it in my hometown and I was determined to get it, then was like, wait, i actutally do love my rings. I felt for my husband because I didn't realize how hurtfull it really was even if he acted like it wasnt. I stopped bringing it up now and i just enjoy my rings. And him!!
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My husband and I have had a fast relationship. He proposed on our 1 year and we got married almost one month after the engagement since he’s in the military and we needed the marriage certificate ASAP so I could go with him to his new base. He doesn’t make much money, so I understand why my diamond is smaller than I told him I wanted. I wanted 1 ct center stone. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, since I love “obnoxious” rings/diamonds. The setting is a simple channel set on my e-ring and wedding ring. So with a small diamond, it’s kind of “bleh” for my liking. He went to a custom jeweler so the rings cost a lottttt more than if he would of gotten it at a store like Kay’s, or Helzberg. A friend at work is selling her 1.25ct diamond pendant for really cheap and I was wondering if it’s too soon, or mean? of me to already want to replace the diamond after only 4 or 5 months with it. I think it would just add the perfect touch to the simple rings. I’ve already told him that someday I want a carat, but he never says anything. Is it too much for me to take it into my own hands? Please help!
Mrs. Smith