Post # 1
I just became engaged on November 28, 2012 and am already a little lost. I am on a pretty small budget so i am going alot on my own. My family is helping and so are my bridesmaids but my biggest problem is that everyone is coming up with ideas only for me to not like them. I feel like certain people ( step mom, best friend, and best friend’s mom) are making this their wedding when its not. I dont even have a dress yet and my best friend and her mom already found the flower girl dress. I dont like the dress and i felt bad saying i didnt like it but have an image of what i want. any suggestions to take control of my wedding with out pissing anyone off would be great.
Post # 3
Bottom line, sweetie, this is YOUR day. Maybe a simple “Yeah, I’ll take that into consideration!” and then a change of topic will suffice for people who are butting in?
Post # 4
I am already getting stressed about it. Everyone knew it was happening even me so now thats its time to finally start planning it seems like i said everyone is making it THEIR wedding. I love the help but enough is enough.
Post # 5
It seems like they are overeager to help – it’s great they are enthusiastic, but always remember its you and your FI’s day! YOU have to be happy with the outcome.
You could try to offer them a project to help with, maybe something you don’t care as much about, to keep them occupied.
And of course a polite “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind!” will work.
Post # 6
If I were you I would get all of those involved and have a little sit down. Explain that you really appreciate their input but you JUST got engaged and need time to figure out exactly what you want. They should understand that, hopefully.
Post # 7
Hopefully, We will be sitting down with my family to discuss some details that i dont want to over look so i will def need to bring up that to EVERYONE. I just want to spend the next few weeks enjoying my engagement and my Fiance and not spending every second planning the wedding until January.
Post # 8
@jenrawson21: I agree it is important to sit them down and express that you are not ready to plan anything yet. You want to look at some wedding magazines and get some ideas before you start planning. Explain to them you are glad they are excited and want to share in the experience but you just want to enjoy being engaged right now.
Post # 9
I learned early on that everyone close to you has opinions about how your wedding day should go. It is very sweet of them to be so excited, but for me it started to cause a lot of pressure and stress. My solution? Darling Husband and I just worked on plans and ideas together, and I shared very minimal with everyone else. If I already knew what I wanted for something, then I would tell everyone after it was already planned. If I wanted honest opinions, then I asked (but that became rare as I talked to Darling Husband about most ideas). Hope this perspective helps! Congratulations and wishing you happy planning!
Post # 10
A useful reply to all the “helpful suggestions” you’ll be getting: “Let me think about that.” It buys you time, it allows people to feel that their input has been heard and acknowledged, and ultimately it reminds them that YOU are the one who gets to make the decision.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza
@jwdesiree: +1 It’s your day not there’s. Do want you want. Just do it politely.
Post # 12
I agree with others, take their hard work into “consideration”, and let them know what you decide, or show them other ideas that you like. In the end its your decision. Small budget, big budget, its You and Your fiances day!
Post # 13
I was married briefly 10 years ago when I was 20. Everyone just sort of planned everything themselves, and I just let it happen. I didn’t even really pick my own dress.
This time around I am keeping everything between me and my fiance. I don’t mention anything on Facebook, and I have a private Pinterest board just for “for sure” wedding things so I can see how everything looks together. Only my Future Mother-In-Law has seen my dress, I only shared the venue after it was booked, etc…
I usually just tell people we want them to be surprised and enjoy their time as our guest. It works…most of the time 🙂