Post # 1
**This sounds so stupid I cannot believe I’m even putting it into words**
So BF and I just got done chatting on the phone over his lunch. He is a manager and his tiny company has been looking for a new employee and they’ve been interviewing folks for a couple of weeks. We actually met and started dating while working for this company, so everyone there is like family and I stop by and visit once a week or so.
Well, they selected their new employee…and it’s a woman. They had originally been planning to hire a man to help with some of the heavy lifting parts of the job, but ending up deciding this gal was a better candidate.
Here’s where this whole thing gets really, really dumb: I’m feeling uneasy about a new female sitting 3 feet from my BF where I used to sit and where we ended up getting to know eachother from sitting in such close quarters. That is literally where our entire relationship was formed in the beginning. What if he gets to know her like he did me something happens? I know several relationships/marriages that ended because a spouse fell in love with someone they met at work.
Yes, I know she’s 10+ years older than me with kids and a husband…but my stupid head is still feeling freaked out.
Talk me down. I’m aware this is a dumb thing to be concerned about.
Post # 3
Listen to yourself: you are aware it’s dumb and you have no reason to think the same thing will happen. If you trust your SO and how he feels about you, then you should trust that being near a woman won’t make him leave you because there’s another vagina present.
You probably work or have interactions with men on a daily basis. Does that make you want to leave your SO for them? Probably not.
She’s married. She’s older. She has kids. Let it go 🙂
Post # 4
@MissCalifornia: You’re right….he’s just such a catch I guess I feel like everyone else around him is as smitten by his charm as me :-p
Post # 5
But it’s also important to remember that of all those girls that were smitten by his charm, he chose you because he was smitten by your charm. Don’t second guess that so much that he starts to second guess it.
Post # 6
I met my husband at a former job and have never once thought he was going to leave me for a current coworker. We were meant to be together, the same is not true for anyone else that we work with- remember that in your own relationship. If you keep going down this line of thought, you’d need to ban him from working with any woman, ever.
Post # 7
Girrrrl, let me just say this.
You are one of my favorite posters. You’re so confident and strong and have an “i don’t care what they think” attitude — try to apply it to this situation. You got it goin’ on, and you know what’s up. Trust in yourself and your man. 😉
Post # 8
@badabing88: I am 10000000% sure you have nothing to worry about. 🙂 Yes, it’s normal to get that temporary lapse in sanity and assume, but nip it in a bud quick. Your guy is a great catch, but I’m sure that the female cw thinks the same of her own husband. If that’s the case, she’s probably blind/oblivious to your SO’s charm. At the end of the day, your SO wants you! And has been showing tons of signs of wanting to marry you and SOON. 🙂 Relax.
Post # 9
@badabing88: I have seen so many relationships and affairs start in the workplace. We spend more time with work folks than we do with our own families. I don’t think you are dumb, and your feelings aren’t dumb. Everyone deserves to feel that their concerns are legitimate, and we can’t control our gut response to a situation.
However, I do think your concerns are unfounded. Have you seen you? 😉 Seriously though, your boyfriend has bought you a ring and wants to marry you. I highly doubt that working with a female is going to make him change his mind. No relationship is guaranteed, but you have to trust him and trust in the strength of your bond.
Feeling jealous and insecure every so often is normal. My FI works with all men and I can’t say that I have a problem with that. However, I am in a male dominated industry and I have never wanted to be with any of them – I just want to get my work done and get home to my man. That’s where my heart is. I’m sure your boyfriend feels the same way.
Post # 10
Everyone else probably is smitten by his charm, because he’s probably an awesome guy. But from what I’ve seen, you’re a pretty awesome gal, and I’d assume everyone is probably smitten by YOUR charm too.
An older woman who’s married with kids is nothing to be concerned with. Hell, even a woman who’s single and 22 is nothing to be concernd over. You stop by the place, you have friends that work there, you love and trust your fi.. And YOU are who he loves. Forgetaboutit!
Post # 11
@LTD418: Absolutely… we are all allowed to have moments of insecurity and even some jealousy, but you have to stay strong. Remember that he loves you for you, and he doesn’t fall for any others of the female population. Don’t get crazy and insecure about it, because you don’t want him to wonder why you’re so insecure about it, and think SHOULD he be interested in someone else? You got this, it’s all good! 🙂
Post # 12
But when he met you he was single, right? And he was looking. And he was turning on the charm because he was interested…and you were single and receptive to it! None of whcih will be the case with this woman.
I know sometimes it’s hard to realise this, but all those things you said about your BF being charming and great? Not everyone necessarily sees those same things in him. Or is even looking for those qualities. In fact, she sees the qualities she wants in someone else: her partner.
He loves you. He chose you. It’s totally natural to feel jealous sometimes, but you know he chose you for a reason. Remind yourself of those reasons!
Post # 13
After your experience with Grabby McHandsypants, I don’t blame you for being uneasy about this. But it’ll be okay!
Post # 14
You have nothing to worry about! If you’re as cool in real life as you are on here, no chick will ever stand a chance.
Post # 15
@badabing88: You don’t need to worry about a thing! You are a hot, awesome chick, and there is no way that this woman has anything on you in the eyes of your man!
Post # 16
@badabing88: Aw honey. It’s ok to have these moments! We allll have them! 🙂
Trust me when I tell you – your guy got himself a winner (and that coming from a stranger on the internet, you know it means a lot :P) and you got so close at that time because you were both single! None of you was married with children.
Why don’t you come back tomorrow, read this post you just made, and you will see how hard you will LOL 😀