Post # 1
Not sure where to post this, so I figured this was the best place…
Just recently (this past weekend!) my Future Brother-In-Law introduced to his new ladyfriend, “CJ”. He’s really shy, and generally keeps love interests in his life a secret, so introducing her to his family (parents too) is a REALLY big deal. They’ve been together for a few months, and it seems like the “real deal” to us (that is… long term rather than a fling).
CJ is amazing! She’s so fun, and so good for FBIL! Fiance and I are SO happy for him, as I think the other siblings are. Future Sister-In-Law, her husband, Future Brother-In-Law, CJ, Fiance, and I all went out Saturday night and we all had an absolute blast. Future Sister-In-Law and I started talking about upcoming wedding events, and we stopped abruptly because we’re not sure about where in the picutre CJ will be when these events happen.
So… after ALL that… what should I do? We’ve sort of informally invited her to the family engagement party on Dec 17th, but events outside of that? We’re planning an out of town bachlorette party, and while I would LOVE for her to come, it’s in JULY, but invites are being sent out now so that people can round up the funds/request the days off work. I don’t want June to roll around, and they’re still dating and either A. She feels left out because we didn’t invite her now, or B. She feels she got a “pity” invite.
Post # 3
If I were you I might wait a bit before extending the invite to her.
You have only met her once so far. What if you don’t like her and then you have to deal with the awkwardness of dealing with her on your weekend?
Everyone is great on the first meet. Every Girlfriend is great in a relationship when it’s only been a few months.
You can’t really tell a lot about a person after one evening. Once the invite is out you can’t rescind it.
Post # 4
Don’t invite her now to your bachelorette in July – a lot can happen between now and then. If they are still together a month before it, then invite her. If she can make it, great! It’s a long time away, so there is no reason to be talking about it around her anyway.
Post # 5
I recommend that if you are able to keep the bachelorette as wedding party only, there should be no reason for her to feel left out. Otherwise, if she is still with Future Brother-In-Law, I would, and make it a game time decision. I wouldn’t send out an invitation this far in advance incase something does happen with them.
Post # 6
Thanks for all your advice bees! She’s met a few of the girls that are coming on the trip, and everyone gets along, so I think Around May or June, if they’re still together (fingers crossed!) and see what it’s like.
Post # 7
@kimbean:i know you’ve already decided to invite her in may/june…. but, i was going to say, you should just invite her now and i’m sure if/when they break up, she will let you know she’s not coming anymore. no hurt feelings this way =)
Post # 8
@kimbean: You like her, please invite her.
Post # 9
@MissKat03: this is what i was going to say…i’m sure if you invite her now and she and Future Brother-In-Law break up before then, she won’t come. and if she’s that pushy and still wants to come, you shouldn’t feel bad (and nobody would think badly of you) if you had to tell her that her invite was rescinded.