new guy…texting nonstop for 3 weeks now suddenly stopped. advice please?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I am a fan of straight up asking. “You haven’t been replying as much, everything okay?”

Post # 4
Member
4218 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you should read “why men love bitches”. Men love the chase. You made it too easy for him and he lost interest.

Post # 5
Member
918 posts
Busy bee

I think you’re overthinking this.  I don’t blame you, I overthink stuff too!  But it sounds like things have been going pretty well for a few weeks, you’ve been texting multiple times a day, he wasn’t able to see you on Saturday but he told you why and was still texting you, and it’s just for the past 48 hours that he’s been unusually quiet.  I don’t think that’s anything to worry about – 2 days seems like a long time when you’re waiting for someone to contact you, but it’s a very short amount of time if you’re busy, and it sounds like he’s got family commitments and church commitments, so I wouldn’t jump straight to assuming that he’s playing games with you.  I second Hyperventilate’s suggestion – a simple “You haven’t been replying as much, everything okay?” sounds like your best bet.

Post # 6
Member
251 posts
Helper bee

@HappySky7:  yes yes yes!!! please read why men love bitches, what happened to you is exactly the pattern that is laid out in the book, seriously that book changed my life. please read it!!

Post # 8
Member
3410 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Stop texting.

He is either genuinely busy, and the bombardment of texts will come across as needy and or irritating OR he is no longer interested.

🙁

Post # 9
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@HappySky7:  I agree 100% could definitely be a case of her being “too available”

Sounds like there was a lot of texting going on… on both sides.

I would want a man to call me (make more of an effort).

Also, you get to know each other a lot better by phone, than just a bunch of written words.

— — —

OP, you want to have the most success at the “Dating Pool”, then I suggest you read up as much as you can on how men think…

As @HappySky7: has said the Book “Why Men LOVE Bitches” by Sherry Argov is a good one.

But I personally like those which are actually written by men themselves… they truly “open the vault” on how men think in particular situations.

Some great authors in this regard:

John Gray = “Men are from Mars ~ Women are from Venus”

Greg Behrendt = “He’s Just Not That Into You”

Dr Phil = “Love Smart ~ Find The One You Want – Fix the one you got”

Steve Harvey = “Act Like a Lady – Think Like a Man”

Steve Harvey = “Straight Talk – No Chaser… “

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 10
Member
5445 posts
Bee Keeper

I wish I could have told my 18 year old self to chill with the texts and is he or isn’t he attitude because all of those dating games are obnoxious and when I met FH none of that mattered. 

Stop texting though, because he’s either busy or not interested after he no longer has to “chase” you. 

Post # 11
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@sweetgirl1234:  I am wondering if he took offense to you not going to church with him. You said it was important to him and his family, so they may have had a talk with him about it. I’m sorry this is happening to you. I agree with a PP, stop texting him. If he is interested, he will contact you. If he doesn’t text again, then you will have to move on. I think it would be fair for him to give you an explanation though, so maybe just ask what happened.

Post # 12
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

It sounds like things have fizzled. I wouldn’t text so much now or in the future. Like others have said it makes you seem unattractive, like you have nothing else to do. 

Post # 13
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@This Time Round:  yeah I much prefer the phone conversation. I met my FI online. What a difference to texting!

Post # 14
Member
3013 posts
Sugar bee

@sweetgirl1234:  personally I find endless texting boring. I also think being in constant contact can take away something. That said, here you are. Why can call him and talk to him? I don’t think you should be ready to commit to anyone after meeting them twice. Commit what? Your life? Your love?

Give it some space and let him contact you. He is fine so you know if he wanted to be in touch he would be. I agree with those books. The one that helped me most was John Gray Mars and Venus on a Date. 

Post # 15
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sweetgirl1234:  sounds like he’s over it sorry. Try calling one time to talk if that doesnt work move on.

Post # 16
Member
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m of the school of thought that if someone wants to talk to you, see you, or otherwise invest time in you, they will. As adults we are ALL busy. A, “sorry this weekend has been crazy for me but I’m thinking of you” doesn’t take much time. 

However I also hate texting and don’t think its how two adults should begin a relationship, maybe he’s grown tired of it as well? Don’t text him anymore but if he reaches out to you, have a face to face or phone conversation and address your concerns. Also, why be a girlfriend after two meetings? I met my SO online and we spent probably a month and a half of seeing each other daily before we labeled it and committed to each other. 

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