Post # 1
First off! I’m sorry this is my first post ever here! I’m a member of other wedding boards, and people tend to bring you down more so I thought I would try the wedding bee instead!
Is pre-wedding depression normal? Why am I so sad? This is the happest moment of my life!! I’m 30yrs old and FINALLY getting married.
I’m so ready to marry my best friend, Everytime I focus on the wedding for some reason I get sick, have headaches, and this week I have slept more then anything! MY HOUSE is TRULY a wreck because I don’t want to DO anything, its like all my energy has been wiped off planet earth.
What’s funny is that other then finding a DJ in my area, we are pretty much ready-to-go!! I’m getting married in August. I mean I’m having a hard time with Money at the moment, since I recently lost my regular job and had to quickly find a job in retail FH is lucky to get a few days working a week. This economy, blah. But every month I stress out, and it always works out find at the end of the month, maybe be a little latte on bills. But I’m sure thats common.
Thanks for reading, hope I can meet some awesome ladies here 🙂
Post # 2
2BeeMrsLittrell: I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling so anxious! By the sounds of things though I think you are feeling this way because you are worried about money and having a better job. I honestly have felt this way in the past 6 months too. We got engaged in October and weren’t going to get married until May 2015, but FI didn’t want to wait 18 months so we moved our date to August 2014! Sometimes I feel a bit stressed because my job isn’t full time and it isn’t related to my bachelor’s degree. My friends who studied the same or similar degree haven’t found a job in our related field either… and it makes me feel a bit blah.
Keep your chin up though, I know retail isn’t always the most fun environment but at least you and FI are working! When you feel stressed about the money stuff I think you should sit down, write down what expenses you have coming up so you can see the bigger picture. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with costs and bills, but having it down on paper and working out a weekly budget could help. It sounds like you really want to get married though, but the money stuff is stressing you.
In regards to housework, do you ever reward yourself for doing jobs around the house? This could even be just by getting up in the morning and going “okay, I’m going to vacuum and do my ironing, then I can reward myself to my favourite drink/treat and sit down and enjoy reading/watching a movie/tv whatever”.
Post # 3
2BeeMrsLittrell: Maybe it is not the marriage that is causing your depression but the wedding and financial troubles?
I think you need to sit down with your fiance and work out if you really want to have this wedding? Is the money worth it or would you both be better off having a smaller and cheaper wedding?
Post # 4
I agree – do not get pressured into a larger wedding (I have and I feel a few regrets). I also think that you are being a bit hard on yourself and yourself is where to start. You are going through a ton – A giant life change by marrying FI, working, trying to find work, and holding together a house. It is all exhausting. I have had similar things such as many job changes to build up to where I am right now, little monies, FI moving in, FI putting random pressures on me (!), and taking care of the house and three pups. Guess what? I get stressed sometimes and it does not mean myself or you are doing badly for ourselves. Start with yourself – do the things that make you feel better, like cleaning up your diet, exercising, or asking your FI for a little a lone time. Do not try to take care of anyone but yourself for three days and alert your FI to that. I am sure that once you actually tell you your FI that you are unhappy (in no hedging terms) he will support you as much as he is able.
Post # 5
Anxiety can cause depression. I’m inclined to agree with the others– that your job & current financial situation are at the root of it all.