New & Have a question, pre-wedding depression ?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

2BeeMrsLittrell:  I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling so anxious! By the sounds of things though I think you are feeling this way because you are worried about money and having a better job. I honestly have felt this way in the past 6 months too. We got engaged in October and weren’t going to get married until May 2015, but FI didn’t want to wait 18 months so we moved our date to August 2014! Sometimes I feel a bit stressed because my job isn’t full time and it isn’t related to my bachelor’s degree. My friends who studied the same or similar degree haven’t found a job in our related field either… and it makes me feel a bit blah.

Keep your chin up though, I know retail isn’t always the most fun environment but at least you and FI are working! When you feel stressed about the money stuff I think you should sit down, write down what expenses you have coming up so you can see the bigger picture. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with costs and bills, but having it down on paper and working out a weekly budget could help. It sounds like you really want to get married though, but the money stuff is stressing you.

In regards to housework, do you ever reward yourself for doing jobs around the house? This could even be just by getting up in the morning and going “okay, I’m going to vacuum and do my ironing, then I can reward myself to my favourite drink/treat and sit down and enjoy reading/watching a movie/tv whatever”. 

Post # 3
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

2BeeMrsLittrell:  Maybe it is not the marriage that is causing your depression but the wedding and financial troubles?

I think you need to sit down with your fiance and work out if you really want to have this wedding? Is the money worth it or would you both be better off having a smaller and cheaper wedding?

Post # 4
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

I agree – do not get pressured into a larger wedding (I have and I feel a few regrets). I also think that you are being a bit hard on yourself and yourself is where to start. You are going through a ton – A giant life change by marrying FI, working, trying to find work, and holding together a house. It is all exhausting. I have had similar things such as many job changes to build up to where I am right now, little monies, FI moving in, FI putting random pressures on me (!), and taking care of the house and three pups. Guess what? I get stressed sometimes and it does not mean myself or you are doing badly for ourselves. Start with yourself – do the things that make you feel better, like cleaning up your diet, exercising, or asking your FI for a little a lone time. Do not try to take care of anyone but yourself for three days and alert your FI to that. I am sure that once you actually tell you your FI that you are unhappy (in no hedging terms) he will support you as much as he is able.

Post # 5
Member
4918 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Anxiety can cause depression.  I’m inclined to agree with the others– that your job & current financial situation are at the root of it all.  

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  sassy411.
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