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Ugh! the boy is being weird!
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New Here!

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
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    1.
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    Newbee
    boston_girl    June 2012   AZ

    So I found this site a few weeks ago and have been stalking it ever since. I was so happy to see that I am not the only girl out there who is waiting, more than anxiously, for a proposal. My BF and I have been together for 3 years (today as a matter of fact) and I seriously don’t know how much longer I can wait for him to propose. I realize that 3 years isn’t really that long to wait but the situation that we are in is what is making me want the ring so badly. We are from Boston and moved out to CA (to be closer to his family because his mother is sick) over two years ago. I miss Boston and my friends and family so much, and in my mind me moving out here with him was my way of showing him my commitment. I need him to return the “commitment.” We have had numerous conversations about the topic (and embarrassingly a few arguments) – he keeps saying that he doesn’t want to have to finance a ring – he wants to be able to just purchase one – but with the amount of time that he has been saying that he is “saving” I think he could have bought a ring and a car!!  Wow – that felt good to get out!!

     
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    Busy bee
    iggies    March 2011  

    hi i'm also new here! i completely understand what you are going through. i moved from my parents to be closer to my boyfriend 4 years ago, they live in delaware and i live in mass. i thought the exact same thing about moving with my boyfriend showed commitment, but apparently he didn't get that. we've been together 5.5 years now (as of yesterday!) and still no ring. it's so painful for me to be far away from my family, but close to his. i've had my fair share of arguments over my friends getting engaged and only being with their boyfriends for a year or 2 and here i am, moved up to mass to be with him 4 years ago and he still doesn't think about getting married. he's the slowest person in the whole world to do anything, he never likes taking a chance.

    i was afraid that my boyfriend was going to say the same thing about the "saving for a ring". i don't really care if my boyfriend buys a diamond and in all honesty, i would prefer he didn't only because of the cost issue. i gave him information from a woman on etsy who makes gorgeous white sapphire rings that are really budget.

    i hope that your boyfriend finally realizes how much you put into your relationship and finally asks you!

     
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    Sugar bee
    HoneyBear    March 17, 2012   Texas/ Isla Mujeres

    Hi guys! Welcome to the hive, you will love it here, everyone is soooo supportive. Feel free to vent here any time you want, it really helps!

     
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    Helper bee
    sunshinebride    July 30, 2010   California

    welcome!  i've been here only a couple of weeks, but have found this to be an amazing place!  good place to vent, get advice, and even just laugh about things....

     
    5.
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    637 posts
    Busy bee
    MzThrowBac2B    December 2012   Tx

    Hello ladies and welcome :) I know waiting is hard to do, but when the time is right you will get your fairy tale proposal complete with the perfect ring! 

     
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    Bee Keeper
    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    Welcome to both of you.  I do understand why he wants to wait so that he doesn't go into debt for the ring.  Maybe he is afraid that he won't have enough money for the wedding either with his mother being sick?

     
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    Helper bee
    VikingPrincess      

    Welcome Boston girl!  You are very sweet to move for your boyfriend but that won't really get a guy to propose.  How much longer are you willing to wait it out?

     
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    5,940 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Future Mrs. Martin    August 21, 2010   London Ontario Canada

    Welcome to the hive - I joined while waiting also!

    It is a great place to wait and then when it finally happens it's a great place to plan your wedding!

     
    9.
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    25 posts
    Newbee
    boston_girl    June 2012   AZ

    I guess my biggest concern is that the “I’m saving” is a cover up for “I’m not sure I want to marry you” – of course I would love a nice engagement ring, but he knows that I don’t really care about the ring – I just want the commitment of an engagement. For the last few months I have told myself that if he doesn’t propose by our three year anniversary (which is today) that I need to reevaluate the situation……………..why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free right??

     
    10.
    Member
    457 posts
    Helper bee
    VikingPrincess      

    You are right about the milk.  Men don't always feel compelled to propose unless they feel they will lose you.  Sad but true.  They don't always realize how good they have it.  I plan on telling my SO after we've been together for a year that I like things as they are now but I would like more.  Then I will have a poker face and see what he says.  Poker Face like Lady GaGa ;-)

    Anyways I would like to be happy and him as well so if it isn't moving forward then we will have to part ways.  Then if he doesn't offer to get a ring right away you know it is time to move on and lay low.  Be scarce.  Plan a trip with girlfriends.  I think the hardest thing to remember is men don't think like us.  They need motivation.  Not all men but most.

    I'm a tough cookie though so I don't put up with much anymore at 32 hehe

     
    11.
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    Bee Keeper
    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    Welcome! We're awesome, so don't be afraid to jump in! Glad you're here!

     
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    Blushing bee
    futuremrsbyrd    May 2010   Tennessee

    Hi!

     
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    His Barista    September 4, 2010   Spokane, WA

    Hi ladies! Happy Anniversaries and welcome!!

     
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    Bee Keeper
    cardigan    January 7, 2011   Austin, TX

    Welcome to the boards!!! Have you tried having a serious and honest conversation with him about how you're feeling? I'm sure he knows that you want to be engaged, but does he know exactly how much it means to you?

     
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    Sugar bee
    luli29    October 9, 2010   Massachusetts

    welcome!

    bostongirl...my FI and I just got engaged in May. We've been together 7 years, and living together for 3.5 of those seven years. He took a looooooong time because he too kept saying he couldn't afford the ring at the moment. But I have it now.  Don't worry, the day will come!

     
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    1,369 posts
    Bumble bee
    Jaxx317    July 17, 2011   Brooklyn, NY/wedding in the Hudson Valley

    welcome to the boards! we're all here for ya!

     

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