- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Just thought I’d start off with I am new here. I’ve been trying to create an account for weeks but it never would let me so finally I am here!! 🙂
here is my delima……..
Our original wedding was suppose to be next year in June at a very nice old historic Inn. My wedding first started out on the beach with close family and 1 or 2 friends. so a total of like 12 people. Then my mom got involved and decided it needed to be somewhere else. So I found the Inn and while very nice and fits my idea of a vintage, classy, elegant wedding. Well I was given a budget of 10k and my father is giving me 4k for pictures. Well my mother decided to tell my photographer she would put them up at the Inn (this photographer is a close friend of ours and does AMAZING photos she was going to do it for free, but I felt like I was using her so I offered to pay 4k her regular frice is anywhere from 6-8k) well when my mother told the photogrpaher this I wanted to honetly yell at her. Rooms at this place are 300-600 dollars a night. and according to my mother we had to buy a room for the photographer and her 3 children( who are 15,19,20). so rooms ended up totalling about $3,000 when all said and done because I was told I had to get the nice rooms for them. sp this cut into my budget. the rental for this venue is 3,000 total we have a deposit of 2,000 already down.
as you can probably already start to see a trend of my mom is taking over….. I told her the flowers I wanted, and she said no you can only have roses, I told her the food I wanted no you can’t have this you need this, I told her the colors I wanted no you can’t have those you need these, my FH and myself both told her we only want close friends and family and her response ” You can’t have a wedding with just a few people you need a lot of people”
well bees here is the thing, this small intimate wedding and turned into a nightmare. My FH and I are buying a house within the next month (we are into all the paperwork at the moment) which my mother is also not happy about. My FH and I already live together at my moms house (I am still in college). My FH and myself are already wanting to leave, we get kicked out everytime her new boyfriend comes over who hates myself and my FH.
I am only having 1 bridesmaid and FH is only having 1 groomsman (this is one thing that we have been able to keep the way we want it) as we didn’t want “random” people standing up with us.
Mom went out and spent about 2k on wedding presents for everyone that I do not even like, but she liked them so I just had to have them according to her. I have tried to explaini to her that she is taking over the wedding, plus everytime she talks about the wedding its I want this, I want that, I think you should have this….. not what do you think about this?
The catch to this is what money that I do not spend(well what my mom doesn’t spend at this point) on the wedding my FH and myself get to put it in our bank acct. and since we are in the process of buying a home and my dad already told me do whatever with the 4k. we would have about 10k in our pockets on top of what we already have int he bank.
we are honestly to the point now where we want to cut our losses about 4k and just go to gatlinburg and get married at the ski lodge with myself, my FH, our 2 friends and my grandparents.
it is $280 to get married at the ski lodge, that includes an hour of photography, bouquet, grooms boutineer, and a minister. We are so ready to do this it isn’t even funny. I have been thinking about it for a month or 2 and just wanted to make sure before I brought it up to the FH.
I know you are probably saying don’t jump to conclussions but the fact is 10k is a lot of house payments esp. since I am not working while I finish school.
Now I know his parents are missing from this, because I figured I would save you the thought process of dealing with them but here is a little background:
his mom hates me because we live together and apparently I forced him to do so, she also hates the house we are in the process of buying she says it is to far away from her (when that is kind of the point I can’t stand her and neither can the FH), she keeps writing checks out of my FH bank acct. take money does wahtever. yes he is getting a new bank acct. as soon as the I do’s are said and that one is getting closed. His dad plays guilt trips on him as in ” you never help us anymore your always with her” he went and helped them last week and paid for all kinds of things did he get a thank you? nope he sure didn’t. his parents keep asking when we are going to have kids well no offense to anyone out there but children are not for us. We have a lot of things we want to do and right now raising a child is not on our list.
so as you can see my mom is making my wedding her wedding, and his parents are controlling and no he is not the only child. he has a younger brother and sister. MY dad and mom are divorced, dad is remarried she is super nice! moms bf well you all already know how much he just loves me *inster sarcastic face here* but whatever he personal life is really not any of mu business.
anyways we are pretty much set on changing our venue location and cacellign the “nice one” the idea is that 10 years from now we will have a nice wedding. We were going to just go to the court house by FH knows I won’t be to thrilled about that as I do enjoy getting dressed up.
anyone have any ideas how to tell my mom we are cancelling? my grandparents will be super supportive I know because papaw didn’t want me to have a big wedding to start with I guess he ahs seen how these things go. I know mom is going to be highly upset, but this has just gotten out of hand and if she doesn’t like my FH and my new idea she doesn’t have to participate. We also thought about moving the wedding to December too so we would be married when we got a house (this would make my papaw very happy and well I love my papaw he is my father pretty much since dad just decided to be part of my life within the last 6 months) I just know mom is going to be upset and yell and scream like she did when I mentioned this before and everytime I mention she goes and spends more money. The other day while I was at school she went behind my back and made arrangements on where to buy flowers and decided I could only have roses.
help please Bees this new bee is so confused and stressed 🙁