Post # 1
I am new to the bee. I am currently in waiting 🙂 but my man left a month ago for our first deployment together. He is in the Coast Guard and will be gone for 3 months, so I have 2 more to go. This has been difficult for me, but I am getting through it. The sucky part is that he will be home for 3 months, then leaves again for another 4. How do you guys cope with the distance? I know we are lucky his deployments are not longer, but its still not too fun.
Post # 2
You just find something else to occupy your time. If you don’t have any hobbies– get one! I took up knitting on my FI’s first deployment. I got so engrossed in it, it relieved stress and I ended up with some cute cowls. Look for any classes in your area (painting, pottery, drawing, sewing, teach yourself to knit from YouTube videos etc) in something that you’ve always wanted to do. Do all the Pinterest things you’ve wanted to try.
Throw yourself into work or school. Stay late and show up early.
Finally, pick up some books. Make a reading list. Or go for a run every day.
Working on yourself is a wonderful way to distract from missing him. If he’s stateside, call each other often (not all of us have that luxury). Write letters and emails, send him packages. Plan what you’ll do together when he comes home. Send him reminders of how much you love him. Call on family and friends if you’re ever so lonely you don’t think you can make it. Because you CAN do it!
Post # 3
futuremrschristensen: I second the hobbies! It’s a great way to distract yourself from his absense. I spend a lot of time with my family – or on the phone if they’re far away at the time. Also, weird, I sleep on his side of the bed. haha
Post # 4
Thanks Ladies! I workout a ton, which helps me keep my mind off it. I never thought about sleeping on his side of the bed! Luckily we have email to communicate through, when they have interenet access on the cutter.
Post # 5
acoastieslove: I agree with previous posters. Try to occupy yourself with hobbies, school, work, really whatever works for you. My man was gone for 11 months in the heart of afghanistan. My heart ached for weeks, I was always so fearful for his safety and I thought I’d never get out alive, but I learned to take it one day at a time. I ended up getting to focus on myself, my work and though I wouldn’t ever hope to go through another deployment, I don’t regret having gone through it either. My bf and I are much closer because of that time spent apart, and we were lucky because we got to Skype everyday. I also sent him care packages and letters, it gave the whole thing a sense of purpose for me. So just try to do you for a bit, one day at a time and he will be home before you know it 🙂
Post # 6
My husband goes away every 3-4 months for 3-4 months on a submarine. I’ve learned to embrace that time alone. I do things with my friends, get more work done at my job, take girl trips, read a lot, etc. I also spend a lot of time with my mother who recently retired. After the first deployment it was definitely much easier.
Post # 7
acoastieslove: my fiancé is in the coast guard too! Let’s chat!
Post # 8
acoastieslove: my husbands in the military, he actually just got home a few weeks ago from a 9 month deployment in Afghanistan. It was our first deployment together and I won’t lie it sucked but you just have to cope and make the best of your time. He actually left only 2 months after we got married on top of that where he is stationed is 18 hours away from my hometown. I knew absolutely no one here but school was my savior. It kept me EXTREMELY busy. The first 2 months are always the hardest but after that it starts getting a little easier. You get use to being alone and only talking to them maybe once a day. The way I see things is-I love my husband he is truly my sole-mate. Leaving isnt an option so you just have to endure the suck. You’ll make it and be stronger because of it. Just keep yourself busy with school, work, hobbies, friends, etc. just whatever you have to keep your mind from thinking to much.
Post # 9
megan.knapp.58: I agree, I love this man more than anything, there is no other option than sucking it up. We are done with month 1, two more to go. Lots of lessons for me so far, learning to be without him and find happiness on my own. Its a tough one for me, but something that I am working on.
School is a great idea, he leaves again in December. I might look into a few classes at the local JC during the spring semester, and im thinking of joining Crossfit, so that should take up a lot of my time!
Thank you again ladies for all the suggestions! I never understood what it was like to be with a man in the military, its tough! but what are you going to do, we love them!
Post # 10
acoastieslove: if you haven’t already go to costiechicks.com It’s really helpful and fun to talk to other girls who deal with the coast guarddeployments and moves