- 5 years ago
I am in need of some advice. I am sure you hear this story all the time – I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years, and he isn’t ready to propose.
The problem is, I am ready to be engaged. We are in a distance relationship due to our jobs. I will not live with him before I am married to him, so moving is out of the question, as I have a great job in my current location.
So, I feel like in order to close the distance and live in the same city, a proposal would be the only reason I’d move (I love my current city, aside from missing my boyfriend). We see eachother once a month, and have had this visiting schedule for the last year.
Needless to say, I am tired of the distance. However, he refuses to even discuss marraige and just yells at me and gets so pissed off when I bring it up. It’s to the point I can’t even bring it up, because he flips his s***. He won’t discuss a timeframe with me, and I just feel like there is no proposal in the works.
What makes me even more worried is that before he and I started dating, he dated a girl for 5 years and didn’t propose. She left him because he wouldn’t. To complicate things even more, before I met my boyfriend, I was in a 5 year relationship where *I* left my boyfriend because he couldn’t propose/committ. So naturally, my greatest fear in a relationship is making that mistake again and being with someone who will never propose (marraige is just a personal goal i have).
My boyfriend knows all this and still won’t discuss things with me at all. It’s making me lose my mind…the stress of not knowing where our relationship is going gives me migraines, makes me nauseous, and causes me tons of anxiety on a regular basis.
I am trying to decide whether I should leave him or not. I would also love input on how to not think about engagement and just enjoy being his g/f. That is what he wants me to do, but it is very tough and I wish I knew how to relax and chill out. This distance just makes relaxing even tougher.
Sorry about the novel. All replies welcome. He says he wants to marry me but “we are just on different time frames” (He won’t tell me his). Mine would be within the next 9 months.
I swear I am having a nervous breakdown.