- 3 years ago
- Wedding: December 2014
I have been mia since I got engaged a short 2 months ago…and getting married in 6 weeks (eep!)
This post is about life after the wedding though, and I would like some advice from other ladies. Some background info:
FI and I have dated for 3 years and will be married in December. We have been living in a 2 bedroom town house I bought shortly after we started dating which is convenient to work for both of us, affordable and in a good location. Since I lived alone for a while in it before he moved in, I have the house fully furnished, and FI has some of his things still at his moms (childhood furniture he’d like to use for our future children’s room, dining table of his own, couch and chairs). We dont have room for all of his things in the house right now, and I have offered to merge our belongings and get rid of duplicates, which he thinks we will need when we get our bigger home. We have a cat that he is allergic to, and he puts up with. When we get the new house the cat will be put outside. The housing market in our area (Northern VA) is on the rise, and we would like to buy a new house before prices get too high again.
When we have children, I will stay home with them. This has been agreed to by both of us, and I cannot wait (baby rabies are so real, and so bad.) FI is very responsible with money, and is a planner. Also notable, he has a home that he owns a few hours away with renters living in it.
So here is the issue we are having:
MissKittyBoo point of view:I want babies now. I would live in our small 2 bedroom townhouse until the kids are grown if that was all we could afford. I am in the school of thought that it isnt the things you own that matter. We would make it work (we own 2 houses…we aren’t bad off, commmonnnnn, give me a baby!!!!)I am also 31 (and a half!!! so old) and been ready since I was in my 20s for a child. Waiting is driving me crazy, I need a honeymoon baby asap. Also, my job is just a job to me. I go to work so that I can put money towards MrKittyBoos financial goals…so that I can have a baby faster. I’d quit tomorrow for a baby. I feel like I just twiddle my thumbs until I can have a baby, because what I want most from my life is to be a sahm with my littles.
MrKittyBoo point of view: I want to pay off the car, put 20% down on a new house, and in a few years when we can “afford it” (whatever the hell that means) we will have a baby and Kittyboo will stay home with the tots. I want to move into the new house asap so I can have my stuff and kick the cat out, we are getting married and it’s about time I got to have my own things with me, damnit. We will buy a house, look over finances, them when the “time is right” we can start ttc. Also the area we will buy a house will increase commute times for both of us, more so for MisKittyBoo.
So bees. my question is this: Should I agree to buy a house with him (since he does need my signature, mwahaha) and hope he agrees to a baby sooner rather than later? Or should I tell him no, let’s get pregnant then buy a house… since our current house is affordable and in a great location for our jobs-and I don’t want to have a crappy commute back to my “family home”–that has no babies in it.
I know this is something that we have to figure out as a couple, but what would you do if you were me?