@Ninteenthchance: Have you considered the possibility of, I don’t know – getting a job to replace that income you’d be losing? I don’t mean that to sound harsh, but what would you do if he lost his job and didn’t have any money to give you. I know many people, myself included, who are only ordered to receive less that $400/month…and many of us don’t even get that. Typically the amount you receive is based on his income…so I don’t think there is any real guarantee that you will continue to receeve $1000/month until your child reaches adulthood anyway.
I’m not saying it would be easy to work, given your schedule of attending school full time – but it can be done. I worked full time while I obtained my degree, many people do….or even part time. You said you COULD make due if you had to, so I guess in the end it’s ultimately about what is the priority for you.
Even though bio may not have much to do with her now, if something were to happen to you, there is a very real possibility that he may want to step in and take custody as he may not want another man raising her, and there may be a chance that he could win that battle. Especially since she is only 2 years old. That’s not an obscenely long time for someone else to say he has raised her. It also seems he is financially pretty well off…enough to spare $1000/month anyway…which would also play well in his favor. You said his family wants him to fight…there’s another factor that would be in his favor – family support for her.
I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer that you will find on here. Like others have mentioned the possibility of something happening to you is slim…but as you pointed out, it’s definitely something to consider if you don’t want any chance for him to gain custody in the event that something does. Do i think he would fight for it? I don’t know. Do I think there is a chance he could get her if he did? Absolutely. I think if you are in the same position even 5 or 10 years from now you would have a much btter chance of winning if nothing has changed, but for now, she is still very young, and thus far he has done nothing but fight for his rights, even if he doesn’t utilize them. Is it worth it to give up $1000 a month to ensure that doesn’t happen? Well….that’s up to you.
I would think long and hard about the decision before you make up your mind. From the way it sounds…he likely wouldn’t agree to it anyway…and I’m pretty sure it would be a hard sell to the judge if he doesn’t, and would also look better on him if, in the future, something were to happen and he wanted full custody, because he can provide evidence that in the courts eyes he’s been fighting for her the whole time and has been paying support without issue.
It’s a tough situation, and I truly feel for you. In the meantime, I would at the least draw up a living will, so you have that, but as far as everything else, I think you really need to weigh out the pros and cons before you make any other legal moves. Good Luck!