Post # 1
My husband and I have been trying to conceive since December. I naively assumed I would get pregnant right away, since I didn’t have any factors to lead me to believe otherwise and I was charting and my cycles are like clockwork. I am 30 and we are both desperate to start a family. At my current job, I have a lot of sick and vacation time saved up, so when/if I get pregnant I would be able to take a fully paid 12 week maternity leave. I get four weeks of vacation a year and generous sick time. My job is pretty low stress and I’ve been doing it for awhile, so while this is good for having a family, it isn’t really where I want to be career wise, either.
A few weeks ago I got contacted about a position that is a pretty big bump up for me both in title and in pay. I had an interview last week and feel like it went really well, but it is between me and three other candidates. I probably won’t know if I got it until the end of the month. If I get the job, I would need to wait a year after starting to qualify for FMLA (so I would need to put getting pregnant on hold for at least 3-4 months) and I would also have the stress of learning a new job, and there is less vacation time, etc.
So my question is…I’m set to ovulate in the next couple days. Should we not try this month, on the chance I might get the new job? Or is it not worth it to put TTC on hold, especially since it already has taken five months of nothing happening for us and time may not be on our side?
Post # 3
Not worth it IMO. This could be your month and wouldn’t you be kicking yourself if you missed it.
I kind of have the same struggle in my mind. I am graduating from nursing school this August, and hopefully will have a job within a few months, it’s quite possible I will be very pregnant…or still TTC, or who knows, but I’m just going to trust it will all work out one way or another.
Post # 4
I just watched this TED video of Sheryl Sandberg. I highly recommend it.
By no means am I feminist, but this hit home with me. I am currently a teacher, getting married in Sept, but I am going back to school for my Principal’s and SPED Director’s License right now. I kept thinking about having children relatively soon and how that would affect my career. I don’t think I will ever be a SAHM (and there is NOTHING wrong with be a SAHM and I can only imagine it is a hard career in of it self), but for those of us women that want to stay in career track, we can not live our lives by “what ifs,” we need to live our lives and then when children come along, re-assess our priorities.
Please know that I want children, very badly, within the next 2-3 years, but I have decided after watching this video and a great discussion in class, that I will be moving on with my career up until that point!
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
You sound like me next year and I will have a similar dilemma. I guess it hinges on whether the chances of getting the new job would be damaged by getting pregnant. How long wold it take to get the new job? Are looking at hiring someone ASAP or in 6 months? Is it a career jump that if you don’t take it now, it is unlikely you will have the chance in the future? Are you okay with keeping your current job so you can continue to TTC and have good benefits?
It’s so HARD!!!
I am terrible but I would probably pick the job because I need to make more money than I currently do if I want a comfortable lifestyle to add a child. We could do it with my current salary but it would be tight and somewhat stressful. Another $20-50K would go a long way to making bills less stressful for our household. However, my FH and I have had the discussion and we are okay with not having children if we aren’t able to get pregnant. Plus, if I don’t move up now within the next 2 years, I will likely be stuck where I am at and while it’s a good job, it’s not where I see myself in 5 years.
To me 5 months is not a long time to be TTC with no results. However, you need to do what is best fo you and your household. I don’t think any of us can make that decision for you.