(Closed) new job v. baby? I need advise

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
46139 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I recommend you have this discusiion with your partner. The timing of a pregnancy is a decision only the two of you can make.

Post # 4
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@julies1949: agreed.

This is something you BOTH need to discuse.  Taking into account finances, health insurance, time, etc etc.  It isn’t something someone online can tell you “yes, do it” or “no, don’t do it”.

No one knows what position you and your husband/so are in but you two.  Also, this new job will affect him as well, so definitely talk about it together.

Post # 5
Member
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Just remember you CAN have it all! Our wedding is conventiently in February and busy season for work begins about March and ends late August. I will stop taking birth control on our wedding night in hopes of being pregnant THROUGH busy season and delivering and enjoying time with baby during slow season.

Post # 6
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

I was in your position too right before we started trying.  I was in a job I was bored and uninterested in and had the opportunity to go to a place where I had a lot more interest and I thought potential.  I chose to take the new job and thought it’ll be fine and I also got pregnant the first month trying.  It would have been if they were normal people but they are psychopaths of some sort I’m pretty sure.  Unfortunately I joined when they were new so couldn’t get any feedback from other people who had worked with them.  I didn’t last long there (no one really has yet, people on visas are choosing to leave the country rather than stay with these crazy people), they made it clear they were less than pleased about the pregnancy (despite one of them being pregnant) and because well they’re psychopaths and it was a dangerous environment for anyone to be working in let alone a pregnant lady.

So I guess make sure to do a lot more research than you normally would have to decide if this is the right choice for you and your family.  I’m pleased with our decision to have the baby now but I shouldn’t have switched jobs, it was bad timing for us.   

Post # 7
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

First off, I think you are very smart in realizing that its not fair to the new employer to annouce your pregnancy shortly after starting there.  It could hurt your reputation and future referrals from them.  It could also reflect badly on your friend that is referring you.  People always throw a bunch of legal jargon about pregnancy rights and stuff, but that is the reality. 

Could you at least follow the lead and see where it gets you?  If you don’t end up getting the job, then the decision is made for you and you will have no regrets.  If you end up LOVING the people, opportunity, and pay, maybe you will change your mind about the baby and decide that putting a baby on hold for 9-12 months is worth it?  I always think that having a decision to make is better than no decision at all – if you get the job, you will have much more info at that point about the new gig and you and your hubby will be better equiped to make the decision. 

Post # 8
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree that you and your SO need to make this decision together. Beyond being kind of crappy to have to announce your pregnancy soon after you’ve started you probably wouldn’t get any sort of paid maternity leave (usually you need to be employed a year to get short-term disability).

I’d say if you DO pursue it, go off your BC but use charting methods so that you can AVOID concieving for a year. The once you’ve established yourself a bit and do start TTC you’ll know when the best times to try are. (I did something similar – went off my BC a year before our wedding, tracked my periods so that we didn’t get pregnant, and when we started trying we got pregnant right away).

Post # 9
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@tallgal: I highly suggest you watch this.

VERY interesting about how women “take themselves out of the game” as soon as they start to think about having children:

Post # 10
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@camrie: At my husband’s company, there have been a lot of new hires who got pregnant within their first 3 months. Coupled with gestation time, it comes out to about a year, then they were able to get short term disability.

Post # 11
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would try out the new job and still ttc. Just because you start ttc right away doesn’t mean it will happen that moment. It could be months or a year. On top of that you are pregnant for 9 months so you can still work during that time. As the other bees mentioned it is a decision between you and you SO.

Post # 12
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Haev you thought at all about FMLA?  Usually you have to be at the job for 6 months in order to qualify.  If you are thinking of moving, now might be a good time to go ahead so you can be there long enough before having to take maternity leave.

Post # 14
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@tallgal: I’m glad you found it useful. I’m no where near ready to TTC yet, but it was very eyeopening for me, and I could definitely see myself doing some of the things she mentioned.

It is also interesting just the way women go about their jobs/successes/etc vs men (on a general basis).

Really gives you something to think about.

Post # 16
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I was in your predicament as well….sort of. I had an interview for a job, the following week I found out I was pregnant, and then they called me for a second interview and ultimately offered me the job. I was really torn about the decision, but I took the job and everything worked out. I didn’t tell the new job that I was pregnant until I was 12 weeks along (which was about 4 weeks after I started the job), and my boss and everyone were very supportive.

The thing is, people get pregnant all the time! If you do get pregnant right away after deciding to TTC, then kudos to you and you shouldn’t let the job get in the way…that’s what FML is for.

However, like someone else said, you really need to look into the insurance policies in effect.

I thought I was safe because I read online that insurance companies cannot consider pregnancy a pre-existing condition. TRUE…BUT, the short term disability policy IS able to. So because I had my first prenatal appointment BEFORE I was technically covered by my new job’s insurance, I did not qualify to get ANY pay whatsoever for my maternity leave. And of course, I had my first prenatal appt before insurance so I had to pay for it all out of pocket, which was about $1000.

Discuss with your husband and realize that you may not even get pregnant right away. It may take a few months…then after that you have 9 months to learn your new job, make a name for yourself, and prove to them that you’re completely worth it. 🙂

 

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