- 5 years ago
- Wedding: January 2014
Just thought I would do an orginal first topic post of my own. I’ve been loving reading the conversations and the advice 🙂 I am a 22 year old solo mother and have been in a relationship with my SO for about 15 months. As I am a christian, we live separately and will do until we are married. I have started getting all excited about getting married to my SO, even though we aren’t yet engaged but have discussed it a lot. Awkward parts of my situation, is that I am legally married. I got married to the father of my child when I felt it was the only choice I had(I was 18 at the time) and I stuck it out for about 18 months but he was very controlling and emotionally abusive so I left him. There is a two year waiting period in New Zealand before you can apply for divorce, then one month until the divorce takes effect, so I should be divorced by October. I didn’t expect to find someone else so soon after leaving my ex.
I have been with my boyfriend for 15 months and seeing as we’re both committed to our christian life of abstaining from sex til marriage, I’m hoping to be engaged pretty soon. Waiting until marriage is not a strength for either of us(neither of us are virgins) but we are both committed to waiting and we have been doing pretty well(but we have slipped up a few times). We have discussed marriage, he’s requested my ring size and ideas of what I like in rings etc. And now that he’s got that information, it’s up to him to pop the big question! ALL very exciting but obviously it feels like forever when your not in control of when you get engaged! He gave me a timeline of “by next August” late last year, although I’m not sure how seriously he took that exact timeline but I’m not to fussed. We have an amazing relationship and he’s really stepped up to help me with my 3 year old son when I’ve needed it. We went away together over Christmas time and stayed with his family for 3 weeks. He really showed me how easy parenting could be -( with ex it was like being a solo parent and everything to do with our son was MY job, and according to him, his job was to work for 8 hours and then lie on the couch or sleep for the remainding hours of the day).
My SO made sure that I found out information like my ring size, ring style and had clearly communicated with my ex about getting a divorce so that getting engaged and wedding planning will be a easier process. Since all that is done, he’s gone completely silent about the topic and he’s not wanted to talk about weddings or anything like that because he’d rather wait until being engaged to plan and talk weddings. So, I’ve become quiet to him about getting married and wedding stuff and am using Wedding Bee, Pinterest and a friend of mine to openly talk about wedding stuff, and about waiting and looking for hints that the time might be soon! 😀
I was suspicious when he said asked me a couple of times in one week if I minded if he booked us a day trip to another city and then telling me about it later. That was a few weeks ago and he hasn’t talked about that again. Also, we share google calendars so I can see his plans for the week, and he can see mine and we can invite each other to events etc. He made a joke, that he’ll have to plan his proposal time on the calendar under “gym appointment” or something like that so I won’t know when he’s going to propose. Other than that, I have no other clues! We have both said we want to be married early 2014(between Jan and April).
So that’s me! It’s been really fun and helpful reading the posts and topics from all the other waiting bees! 😀 Look forward to taking part in more conversations, and receiving advice and encouragement from you all, and of course reading all your announcements and proposal stories 🙂