Post # 1
I’m new to this! But was just googling today and came across this and have been laughing to myself thinking of all the other ppl out there in the same situation at least I know I’m not a freak! So just a brief history me and my SO have been together 2 years 9 months. living together 2 years of that. Anyway about a 7 months into the relationship he mock proposes to me on a weekend away just joking gets down on one knee. A few months later we have the talk! I tell him that I would prefer for us to be married before kids Etc. I’m now 30 and he’s just 33. So anyway after we’d been together about 2 years I started the waiting game. 6 months ago I got a heart in the mouth moment on my 30th birthday. Leading it up to he had said things like “so do I have to ask your fathers permission before I ask you to marry me?” He again mock proposed to me in the kitchen one evening. He’s also asked how much friends rings have cost. So anyway for my birthday weekend I wanted to go to this fab hotel where we went for our first romantic break. He organised it all. He was insisting we needed to leave by a certain time which seemed strange to me as we would be there super early. we get to the hotel and we get upgraded to a suite. As we are walking to our room he says ” wouldnt this be a unreal place to get married?” When we get to the suite it’s amazing I’m taken away by the view. TheN He presents me with a massive bunch of flowers. Then he goes to his bag and said ” oh and there’s one more thing!” And starts opening his bag. I’m like omg this is it I could feel my heart it jumping in my throat. Then he announces ” so you’re booked into the spa for a treatment package” was just coincidence he was opening his bag to get something else out. Was still an amazing weekend but I couldn’t help feel so deflated after it. I felt very mislead by all his wedding comments in the months leading up to it. I said it to him a week later that I felt mislead. He said he of course wanted to marry me but he wasn’t quite ready yet. I told him that he gave the impression he was. Anyway we got over that I never mentioned it again. On New Year’s Eve at dinner we were chatting about stuff and he said the next step was marrying me within the next 2 years. I’m not sure he understands that after an engagement comes saving for a wedding! So for valentines this year he surprises me with a weekend away in April to a 5 star hotel. Of course my mind started racing! We’re just back from that weekend break and still nothing!!!!
I can feel myself turning into some crazy obsessed person! He still says comments about other ppl getting married and when we have kids etc.
What’s really annoying me is all the comments from other ppl I get the winks And nudges and the comments “better get the nails done” whenever I tell family and close friends about trips away etc! I want him to do it when he’s ready his parents are divorced so i understand its not something he’s going to take lightly. But at the same time I’m like shut up making those comments so! Just today for example he was watching a wedding programme!! Ahhhhhh the impatience!! I’d love to hear similar stories to assure me I’m not the only desperado in waiting!!!
Post # 3
@Bettyboo1982: Awww! I could just hug you!
Welcome to the Bee. You are going to definitely find this site to be supportive of A LOT that you will go through while waiting. I found this site earlier this year, and its helped me out so much.
So, did you ever ask him WHY he feels he isn’t ready? And why he has set a timeline of two years? It seems like he’s trying to get tan idea of the things you’ll like and make sure that you’ll actually say yes before the real deal happens. I mean, he IS 33. He can’t say he isn’t ready after two years and being that age. LOL That’s just not LEGIT. 🙂
Post # 4
@GirlWithTheGlassSlippers: I know! i don’t know what the hold up is either! he’s telling me he wants 4 kids! I laughed and told him they clearly won’t all be with me as I’m not having kids past the age of 35! When i asked him why he wasn’t ready back in November he was trying to be vague and then he said its down to money. We both have decent jobs but i’m living in the house he owns which he has been renovating over the last number of years and hes pumping thousands into it. I help out and pay my way. We just recently bought a car together and have a dog. So it is fair enough that money may be an issue, but i kind of feel cheated by him, I think it was really unfair if its a long way off for him to have made those wedding comments! he’s created his own monster!!! i also think he has no concept of wedding planning….when he says we’ll be married in 2 years i think he thinks he can just pop the question and the deal will be done in a few months. While i don’t want an extravagant wedding i do want to enjoy planning it. I never thought i’d be like this, anxiously waiting! Like i know it WILL happen, its just a matter of when, and i hate the thought that he can’t do anything nice for me without me thinking….ohhhh?! LOL just want to be normal again! Thanks for the response i’m loving reading all the stories on here! I must go read your profile!
Post # 5
Welcome too the Bee! I too found this site earlier this year and it really helped me a ton when I was in the waiting period!!! Good luck to you!!!
Post # 7
@Bettyboo1982: im in the exact same situation. Just had my birthday and he gave me MULTIPLE hints all week of my present. All of which sounded like a ring. He even said my present comes in a really small box. I was beyond let down and could not hide my emotions. He constantly talks about how next year we are buying a house and getting married however, i dont have a ring. He says hes ready but wants to do it on his time not just because I want it. I am so sick of waiting and being hurt by his trickery. He knows how much I want it and how we need time to plan our destination wedding (we already decided on the island) but it just seems he doesn’t want to make me happy. Kinda lost
Post # 8
@roughtimes88: I think the best way forward is to assume any time they give hints it’s not going to happen! I reckon when they are about to do it there would be no hints at all
Post # 9
Welcome @Bettyboo1982 !
I too am somewhat of a newbie and I’m going through the EXACT same thing…
My SO is a terrible secret keeper and has on numerous occasions dropped hints and then nothing happens… it’s one of the most frustrating things I have ever experienced. I am so beyond ready for the next step in my life which is to get engaged and get married but he keeps pushing it off due to not having the money to afford the ring etc… I have given him tons of options for alternative rings as that is not the reason I am wanting to move things along.. I simply want to start my life with him.
Its something I was very upfront with in the beginning out our relationship and I feel the same when you say ‘cheated’… I feel like anything he says about getting married are empty words…
He’s hinted that this summer will be when it happens (terrible that he can’t keep his mouth shut, I know).. but a big part of me wonders if summer will come and go and nothing will happen..
Post # 10
@lulz16: that’s me exactly! I’m 30 and love the idea of a romantic proposal but at the same time I’m like ok let’s get real here!!! Feel so stupid that me and my SO discuss everything in life but I have to wait for his proposal! I’ve done the travelling thing the career thing. Exactly as you say I just want to move in with our lives! I’m determined not to nag Hence my venting on herE. The only time I got frustrated about it was last November and since then have kept zipped unless he mentions it first! HARD!!! Yeah the “hints” are annoying! Just put the damn ring on it and let’s get going! We’ve discussed weddings and already agreed it would be a small affair. My SO is a slow mover I’ve noticed. I’m impatient guess I better learn some patience at this rate ha ha! And I’ve jokingly said to him ill just get my eggs frozen this year!