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New Relationship Birthday Expectations

posted 4 months ago in Relationships
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    1.
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    79 posts
    Worker bee
    FearLess    January 1, 2015   Denver, CO

    Hi Bees!

    I've been dating a new guy for a little less than 2 months, and just a few days ago, we had the exclusivity talk, so I guess we are now in an official relationship, which is great.  My birthday is tomorrow, and I mentioned it to him a few weeks ago, but I haven't really brought it up to him since then. I'm kind of afraid that he's going to forget about it, which isn't too big of a deal since the relationship is still really new, but I will be slightly dissappointed if he forgets.

    Should I drop a hint or subtly remind him, or just let it go? We are facebook friends, so that will tip him off, if he remembers to check. I'm not really that crazy about birthdays, so I don't want to make a big deal out of the situation, and I know we won't get to see eachother tomorrow since he will be working late.

    Thoughts?

     
    2.
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    Helper bee
    KLC216    September 26, 2014  

    So tough.

    First of all, it's still a very new relationship, so try not to be too disappointed if he doesn't do anything, or yes, even if he forgets. Guys are not the greatest with this - some are. But not everyone is.

    There's two ways to do it I'd think. One, let it all go and see what he does. That of course may mean he does nothing. But it could mean he will wow you by remembering and doing something sweet.

    Two, take that he doesn't have anything planned because he is working late, and suggest that you do something the following day or over the weekend? It takes the surrpise element out of it, but it more guarantees you'll get some recognition of your birthday.

    If I may ask, it's a new relationship, but do you typically hang out often, have good communication?

    It's completely up to you what you decide. I too don't love going overboard with birthdays but I would also be upset if it was not acknowledged in anyway. Good luck. And Happy Birthday.

     
    3.
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    Worker bee
    FearLess    January 1, 2015   Denver, CO

    @KLC216:  Thanks for your response. I had planned a get together with friends for this Saturday, and he has told me he's coming, but I think he may forget about my birthday until this weekend, or maybe he's assuming it is on Saturday. He actually lives about an hour away from me, so we are sort of doing a LDR at this point. We typically see eachother about once a week and talk or facetime every night on the phone. So far, the communication has been really good. We're both a bit older (28 tomorrow and 34), and we've both been really straightforward with our feelings and what we are looking for in a relationship. I know I'm being silly about the birthday thing, but I guess I am hoping for some sort of surprise or for him to do something sweet.

     
    4.
    Member
    201 posts
    Helper bee
    KLC216    September 26, 2014  

    @FearLess:  Nothing wrong with hoping for that of course, it's not silly. I hope he does something for you.

    Thanks for the clarity. LD must be hard right now, but I am happy to hear that you are on the same page. I'm similar ages (30 to my SO's 35) and it helps to at least have that much going because of course you don't want to be on a different page. Communication is key.

    Either way I'm sure you'll be fine. Maybe he will surprise you, as he is coming out. Good luck!

     

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