Post # 1
I want to preface this by saying that I have an incredible relationship with my Fiance, and I really wouldn’t change anything about it. I feel really stupid venting about this, but it’s been bugging me all night.
When Fiance and I first got together, we were the only one of my friends who were in a relationship. Out of respect for all my single friends, I tried to keep kind of quiet about the amazing things Fiance (then BF) did. That was okay with me, because I didn’t need anyone’s approval or excitement towards our relationship… I had my own 😉
Recently, both my best friend and Future Brother-In-Law started dating really amazing people. I’m so genuinly happy for them, because they totally deserve it. It’s just, I keep havign to hear about the cute things they do, or what BF/GF did/bought/said/wrote/etc. FI and I still do romantic things, but we’re no longer at the initial gushy stage. It’s all toned down now and more practical signs of love (eg. I did his laundry and dishes yesterday b/c he had an exam, which he really appreciated).
I just feel gipped, I guess, that when it was ‘my time’ to be all gushy and overwhelmed by the cute little things, I didn’t have anyone to really share it with, and now that it’s being shared with me, it’s hard to not wish (just a little bit) that Fiance and I were still at the exciting early stages of our relationship.
Has anyone been through this before? Can you relate? What’s the best way to help focus on what you love ‘now’, rather than wishing you could go back to ‘then’?
Post # 3
I can kind of relate….I did share my ushy gushy stuff with my single friends though. We are LONG past that, but every now and then it is nice to play “new relationship”. Lol. Like recreating our first date (super romantic!!), or leaving notes in each other’s lunches, cars, etc. If you have something to add when your friends are bragging, it won’t be so bad! Hope This Helps
Post # 4
Awww, I understand! I felt that way a few months back, too. I still occasionally get pangs of jealousy, too, but I feel better because I really like how comfortable we are together. All the cutesy things at the beginning of the relationship are fun and all, but I like that we’re not disgusting, we’re now a fun couple to hang out with because we don’t have to be all over (or even near!) each other at all times.
And I guess I’ve started getting annoyed hearing the sweet things from friends. I tell them how happy I am for them, and I am! But I can’t help but think “ick, so mushy” and I suppose that helps 😉
Maybe think about the fact that they’re probably jealous of you! They see you’re engaged, and that’s what they ultimately want, right?:)
Post # 5
Thanks girls 🙂 It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who’s going through this. I hadn’t thought about them being jealous of us, but I bet that’s probably true!
Post # 6
You can have your gushy time now.
“One time Darling Husband said _______________________. It was soooo romantic!”
“Another time Darling Husband and I __________________________. I’ll never forget it!”
“DH did ___________________________ for me. Isn’t he just amazing?”
You get the idea.
Post # 7
I think why miss out on that. You can gush about how amazing he is now. Its never to late lol. And like you said those things still happen you just dont feel the need to tell everyone about them, but if you want to I think you should. I mean not 24/7 or anything but if it comes up let everyone know how amazing he is 🙂
Post # 8
I can understand that. My best friend just got into a relationship and whenever they come over to my fiance and my apartment they’re all over each other. They even started making out and grabbing each other’s butts. My fiancé and I just gave each other “Are they serious?” looks and laughed. They also go on and on about “The sex is so amazinggg. We do it 20 times a week.” We just don’t like to brag and don’t really do PDA. But we do have the connection where we can share our thoughts with each other with just a look. And I do still brag about him when she goes on about her guy. We’re just completely different couples and I would not trade my relationship for anything. My fiancé and I just laugh 🙂
It seems like your friends aren’t trying to one up you like mine are (they are just that kind of people), but you can definitely add in “That’s so sweet, that reminds me of when….we’re so lucky!” when things come up so you can reminisce a little.
Post # 9
I get why you’re feeling the way you are…It’s perfectly normally. Like the others girls said though, it’s not too late to share the sweet things that happened back then now. I’m sure your girlfriends would love to hear your stories.
Post # 10
Fiance and I have only been together for a year but I still gush. Even with him being long distance and a kallion miles away for the next forseeable future, he still gives me reasons.
For instance, today he messaged me letting me know that this really well known Afghany jewelery maker was going to be visiting the camp he is nearby. He asked me to browse their website and if there was anything he would like he would go there and buy it for me. He is always thinking of me. I love him so.
Post # 11
@AlmostMrsDoc: OMG! I feel like I wrote this post!! I have felt that way NUMEROUSSSSS times…I’ve been with Fiance for 4 years and our love is so solid that he is really like my best friend, like we are just buddies he is still very romantic and sweet but I never feel the need to broadcast it with anyone…but yeah I have ppl to share gushy “honeymoon stage” things and I’m just like eye-rolling in the back of my head and thinking…wait till s*** gets real…so I feel you! Just listen and if you have to zone out and remember all the cute gushy things you all used to do, haha! That’s what I do!