- 4 months ago
I found this site by searching how to cope with the anxiety and depression caused by waiting on the proposal.
A little info about myself and my situation.
I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. We began talking about our future and marriage in November of 2015. We’ve both been married twice.
Since he stated he did not want to pressure me before I was ready, when we began talking about it he told me that he wants me to propose to him when I was ready. He teased and said he wanted to be wooed, ring, flowers, etc.
On October 26,2016, I did just that. I had him a ring made, it was beautiful. It is blue titanium with the words “friendship and love, they go together” on the outside in elvish writing (he’s a big Lord of the Rings fan), my fingerprint inside and the words “I am the luckiest” inside based off of “our song” by Ben Folds. I got flowers, and I individually wrapped a whole bag of hershey miniatures with images of us and important dates. I made an eye chart that said “I love you, will you marry me?”. It was spaced out just like an eye chart because I was always teasing him about needing to check his eyesight. I got down on one knee and everything. He said yes. He put on the ring and wore it that night. Then he wouldn’t wear it again. He says he’ll wear it when he proposes to me.
He said that while he did tell me to be the one to propose, he thinks it was premature. He tells me he wants to do it right, propose to me with ring in hand…. when he’s ready.
We’ve both admitted that we see ourselves growing old together, we’ve talked about the fact that we don’t want a big wedding, we’ve discussed living together. When I’ve asked him where he sees us in 3 years he says married in our own house together.
So, I feel like I’m just stuck and confused.
We had a long discussion about it yesterday and it really hurt my feelings. He said that he hasn’t proposed because he’s not ready. And that even with me pressuring him, he still does not want to end our relationship but I need to think if he’s worth it or not. If he’s worth the wait because he refuses to be pressured into asking me before he’s ready.
I respect that and I don’t mean to pressure him, but it’s consuming me. It’s on my mind every single day. Every holiday that goes by and no ring, I get dissapointed (though I never let him know this.) My birthday is coming up and I know for a fact that it won’t include a ring.
It’s making me feel so bad. I don’t know how to cope with it. I know a proposal is coming… eventually. But in the meantime, I’m driving myself crazy thinking about it.
I try to refocus my energy on other things like my school work, crafting etc. I work full time, have 2 kids and taking online classes. But even through all that and my busy schedule, I still find myself upset and dwelling on the fact that I don’t have a ring on my finger.