Post # 1
Hello Everyone. just to introduce myself a little, I’ve been with my guy for almost 5 years (it will be 5 in october). We are high school sweethearts, and we do not live together. we talk about marriage all the time, but I’m still waiting for an actual proposal. I’ve had an extra hard time lately, as my friends are going through an ‘engagement rush’ and I still have no ring. Mr. Right had told me on our last weekend getaway that he wanted to propose on our trip, but was never able to go ring shopping without me (He said this while I was running to the bathroom with an episode of food poisoning. so idk if he was trying to make me feel better or if it was honest). Anyway, we’ve looked at rings twice in the last week, again I did not provoke it because it makes me depressed when we go looking and he still doesn’t DO it. we went on a romantic date night last night, and I had my hopes up that *maybe it would be tonight* but no…. again. Now, one of my good friends I haven’t seen in a while asked me to go dress shopping with her, and to help with her flowers (i’m a florist) but I’m afraid to as I know I will only be more depressed and maybe even angry that it isn’t my turn yet. She had dated her fiancee back in high school and not even for a very long time, 6months maybe?, and now they are engaged after 4 months. two other friends of mine have been together only 2 years and they are both getting married in september, and two more friends of mine were married in July. It’s just been hard lately, ladies and I’m glad I’ve found people in the same situation. Other than “dont think about it” does anyone have advice for making the wait more bearable?
Post # 3
@Ms.B: Sorry to hear how bummed you are. You’re definitely in the right place. Most, if not all ladies here can relate.
I am a proponent of communication and being vocal about your desire to get engaged sooner than later. However, I do not condone nagging and over-communicating on the topic. That can be a turn-off.
If you haven’t already, I’d suggest mentioning to him what you want, but only when the topic comes up naturally in a pressure-free setting. Lightheartedly tell him that you are ready now and you can’t wait to be engaged to him. If you feel you can share more, maybe mention that you have been together much longer than some of your engaged/married friends, and you are ready to take that step with him. (Only you know how he would react to a statement like that.)
Of course, say these things lovingly, but be very clear and be sure to ask for feedback. Make sure he tells you what he is thinking, and perhaps even a timeline he has in mind.
I suggest this approach because I did it and it made me feel so much better about the situation. I can also tell my SO is more confident since he knows that I can’t wait to be his fiancee/wife. And he also has a concrete goal to work toward.
Good luck and hope it happens soon!
Post # 4
If you two went looking for rings this week, give him som more time – he is obviously thinking marriage, so give him the benefit of the doubt for now. I went looking for rings with my fiance, and then it took him 2 months to propose… I nearly lost my mind waiting (plus we’ve been living together for 2.5 years, so it feels like forever) so I know how you feel! Try try try to just relax and enjoy your life together. He’s getting there.
Post # 5
Thanks for replying ladies. Reign14, I have talked to him about it several times. I usually end up in tears, and I have decided that talking about it much more will turn into incessant nagging. 🙁 Miss Grey, we have been looking at rings for a year and a half now, which is why i am a bit discouraged. He did say yesterday “now I have a good idea of what you want” but I find it hard to believe that its taken that long for him to realize it… i pick out the same kind of ring every time. One of my friends has been with her guy just as long, but they have never looked at rings, so I guess it could be worse. I really think that he doesn’t “get” why it drives me nuts to look at rings, expect a proposal and get nothing.
Post # 6
No advice- just come here to bitch if you need to! We all understand your situation. Hoping your guy pops the question soon.