Weddingbee boards

Actually not that new to the boards either. I've been trying really hard to not be a completely neurotic girlfriend (BF mentioned that I was bringing up the engagement talk too much. :\) so I've been reading the stories of other ladies in waiting to try and comfort myself that yes, everyone goes through this, and yes there are happy endings!

Some back story: BF and I met after college. We get along fabulously--same thoughts on the important issues, same sense of humor, same tastes in movies, etc., but we're able to talk about our differences or sticky topics without a lot of arguing. The one thing we can't talk about is our relationship. Because he is completely unable to talk about his emotions. Like a normal guy but like x 10. After we were dating for a couple years I was wondering where this relationship was going and he told me that for him the next step was moving in, and that was a big step for him because he had never lived with a girl, and that if he moved in with one it meant he would marry her.

Well, imagine my delight when a year later he asked me to move in! It was actually a big surprise to me--he hadn't mentioned anything about it, we hadn't really talked about it and boom! "Do you want to move in?"

So can you blame me for thinking an engagement wasn't far behind? (Providing that one of us didn't kill the other because we realized we were terrible roommates...)

In the 2 years since (5 years we've been together) we've been able to talk about the reality of getting married (how would we handle finances/do we plan on living in this area for long/kids/house etc) but not about when. If I bring it up he makes a joke or changes the subject. I finally was like: "Look, I want to get married before I'm 30, and I'm going to want a year to plan. Is that a possibility?" And he thought for a while (in silence!) and finally said: "Yes." (A man of many words...)

I'm 28 right now so that doesn't leave much time left.

I'm super jealous of you ladies who have either been ring shopping, or even know that he has the ring already! He also told me once he would never take his girlfriend ring shopping. That he would want to pick it out himself and have it be a big surprise. I'm fine with this in theory--he has great taste in jewelry--but it means that I won't even have an idea if it's coming soon. :\

Anyway. That got really long, sorry to bore with all the details. My BF is getting his master's at the moment (part time...he's still working full time) and I know he's under a lot of stress and pressure from that. I'm trying to keep the engagement/wedding stuff to a minimum until he graduates. I don't want to add more to his plate, and I want a future engagement/wedding to be a joy, not an added burden. But I need a place to dump all my craziness and I think my friends are getting bored with the topic. :P

Welcome to the Hive! Feel free to talk about wedding crazies as much as you want! We promise not to bite your head off or tell you that you are mentioning rings and proposals too much!

Haha! Thanks soooo much! It really helps to have a place to go to talk about this. I actually found myself crying at work last week (eep!) and I was like--that's it I need to find an outlet for all of this!

I think it's the holiday season getting to me. How come all those girls in the commercials are getting married and not me? LOL... 

ETA: We've been dating 5 years--6 next summer!

@crebre80 I've alwayes wanted to get married at 28 or 29. It was just the time when I thought I'd be emotionally/financially ready for a step like this (and this was from before I met the BF.) But after year 27 went by without a ring I was like--oh gosh I forgot to tell BF that I wanted to be married by 30! School does kind of throw a wrench into the works because it's time consuming and expensive. But we definitely WILL have a talk after he graduates (is the minute after too soon?! Ha) about timelines and making sure we're both still on the same page.

I sympathize with the "what's the hold up" mentality. I kind of flip-flop between: "If you love each other and the relationship is fun, then just enjoy this time together." and "If he loved me he'd have asked already--what's taking so long?!"

Bah humbug. :)

@Jaxx317 I think for me I had 30 in mind because I was thinking of kids around 32-34. Kids kind of scare me a little so I'm trying to push them off, but I definitely want time to just be married for a couple years before we start thinking kids. But I think I've definitely built it up in my mind as an important date to get things moving!

@moderdaisy I actually am not very big on the wedding itself (I sort of want to elope!) but the promise, and the starting the life together thing is important to me. Like other girls I've seen on here I feel a little like my life is in a holding pattern for certain things until he proposes. For example, I'm in a place financially where buying a house makes sense, but I feel in a way like I have to wait for him to propose in order to do that. I mean I guess I could buy it on my own and have him pay rent, but he gave me a really dirty look the one time I brought that up. LOL. And for me I would definitely have to be engaged before I bought a house with a person. (I would prefer married, but I've got a financial plan to do it if it's only engaged.) 

I had my "internal" deadline in mind to be March--around when he graduates. But I find that as the time gets closer (and no ring in sight) I'm wavering about making it a hard deadline. ie. "You haven't proposed so I'm leaving." That's really hard to think about. So at the moment I've downgraded it to a serious talk about whether a proposal is forthcoming and what his timeline is, and if he doesn't have one he needs one, and we'll talk again in a month and see what's happened. 

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Ooh Tiffanys! That must have been a fun day!

@Jaxx317 "I'm 30 and single" party-- I love it! If I were a different kind of girl I would make an evite and send it to the BF if he hadn't proposed a few months before my 30th. :B