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@sunangel08: Hi :-) If you repost this in the Family or Emotional sections I think more bees will see it and will be able to help you out and answer.
Your father is probably expecting to be approached for his blessing and he has to balance the peace between your Mom and the upcoming nuptials. The best thing for your fiance to do is invite your father to a place where they can interact 1 on 1...going to lunch is a good example, where there are no distractions such as work or your Mom.
Your fiance has to be open and honest with your father...he can bring up the fact that y'all are concerned that your Mom will not approve. This honesty is important since, once your married, all the families (his, yours, and the both of you) will be interacting for many years to come. If you both talk to your father, it will be a sign of weakness on your fiance's part...your father needs to feel that your fiance is a strong individual that will protect his daughter.
We have photographed many a bride and groom for the last 34 years and probably have seen it all...sadly many couples don't make it. Those that do, share a commonality which is the honesty between families and the strength within each of you towards your life as One.
God's Blessings...
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My soon to be fiance and I have been very open with each other about the fact that we want to get married. It isn't some big suprise or secret that the proposal is coming, to everyone except my parents. I've been with him for over a year and we really are perfect for each other. I've had people tell me how jealous they are that we get along so well.
But my parents, mainly my mother, is incredibly difficult and has never liked anyone I was with. She has tried to make my relationship as difficult as possible. My fiance is Jewish (i'm christian) and didn't finish college so to her, he is trash. I'm not trying to rant about my mother so, to save time and space, lets just say she is toxic. She tries to make me feel like I'm doing something wrong by living the life that makes me happy.
My father on the other had is incredibly reserved, he and I haven't always had the best relationship because he doesn't communicate much. I don't really know how he feels about me and my boyfriend, all i know is he has to listen to my mother 24/7 and I can imagine its hard to think good of someone who is always being put down to you.
Now I know my boyfriend is in the process of purchasing a ring (we picked it out together) and hes been asking me advice on how to approach my father to ask for his blessing. I know we don't need this, being that we're 25 and live together etc, but its a tradition both of us (and my family) think is respectful. I don't want to damage the relationships anymore by making my father feel disrepected.
Now I've told my BF to approach him at lunch, at work, w/o my mother around. They've never spoken 1 on 1 and we're all a little nervous about how this will go. (We being us and other people in my family who support my happiness)
Any advice about how to handle this situation? I've had people tell me that we should talk to him together, but I don't know if thats a good idea or not?