New to this registry thing!

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@inspiration86:  From my experience, engagement parties aren’t really about gifts. I think it’s very common not to receive gifts at them at all. That said, it still might be considered a little strange to throw one for yourselves at your own house – it’s just a little over-the-top to throw a party for yourselves. I’ve seen it done well, though, as long as it’s very casual.

Hopefully, one of your bridesmaids or a female relative will host a bridal shower for you. A bridal shower is the same as a wedding shower – except possibly a wedding shower might be coed, and for the couple – bride and groom – whereas a bridal shower is specifically girls-only. When your shower host sends out invitations, usually she’ll include a slip of paper mentioning where you’re registered. Often, all women invited to the wedding are invited to the shower.

Edited to add: There’s no such thing as a groom’s shower. Usually you won’t have both a bridal and a wedding shower, although it’s sometimes possible to have separate showers for separate groups of people. For example, if you attend church, somone from your church might throw a shower for any church-friends of yours who are invited to the wedding. Or someone from work might host a shower with just your work-friends. If you and your FI have a lot of the same coed/couple friends, then you might have a couple (wedding) shower with your couple-y friends. But these all just depend entirely on if or how many different people offer to host showers for you, and who / how many people they are comfortable inviting!

Post # 5
Member
3633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’ve personally never heard of engagement gifts. Well, let me rephrase that. I know some people will give the couple a little something as an engagement gift (just to be nice), but it’s not an expected thing.

You can let guests know about registries a number of ways. If you have showers thrown in your honor, the registry information can and should be included with the invitation to the shower guests. In addition, you can have a wedding website where your registry information is located and you would include the URL of the wedding website in your wedding invitation. Of course, if people ask you, your family members or members of your bridal party, that’s another way to find your registry. Depending on your social circle, it may be common practice to include the registry information in the wedding invitation. Here on WB and in most places, this is frowned upon. However, some people have said it is totally normal and expected in their area/culture/circle.

Usually, for showers, people like to bring the gifts with them so you can open them in front of everyone. However, for non-shower gifts, they can be sent to the house or given at the wedding itself. I personally prefer having them all shipped to the house so you don’t have to have someone in charge of manning the gift table and getting them all back to your house safely and in a timely fashion. Most bridal showers are for the women only; however, this doesn’t mean you can’t have a coed shower. The popularity of coed showers is rising but they’re not extremely common yet.

For the wedding shower, you can invite the female wedding guests or you can just stick to your family and friends. Conversely, if you have multiple showers, you can have a specific target audient for each one. For example, your mom can invite all the family members on your side. You future mother-in-law can invite all the people on her side. Then your bridesmaids can invite your friends. There is no shower for the men, unfortunately.

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