Post # 1
Hi Lady Bees!
FI and I have been backwards on almost everything: talking about getting married long before starting to date, getting engaged before the parents met, and making a major cross country move into our first place together before getting married. It’s nothing spectacular, just a little out of order.
Anyway, considering we’re both several states away from family and friends, that we’re older and wanting to get started on a family, and that neither of us care about a wedding and thought of having one with our families makes us stress beyond words, we figure elopment is the best idea.
The problem? Both sets of parents want to be involved. I’m my parents’ only daughter and my dad wants the walk down the aisle. Our moms have ideas… my blood pressure is going up just writing this. I love weddings, but seriously don’t want to have one of my own. FI feels exactly the same.
Is this selfish? What are your thoughts?
Also, thoughts on an easy, picturesque location? It doesn’t have to be cheap, just beautiful and simple.
Thank you for your help!
Post # 2
TraverseCityBee: I think you’ll get a lot of pro-elopers on this forum here! Some people had family drama, some people caved and had parents only as guests to make them happy.
How about picking a beautiful vacation like locale (vacationy to you). Invite each of the parents out for the wedding, and maybe each of your mothers can serve as your witnsesses (most states want 2 witnesses and their signatures). Then take them all out to dinner a nice resataurant that takes care of all the champange, food, linens, etc as your “reception.” Then you can all do fun activities before or after the wedding while on locale? They can be involved by being there and witnessing the wedding. There is no need to give them a wedding like project (flowers, cake, etc) if that is what you were thinking.
H and I married at Emerald Lake Lodge in Canada. We’re not Canadian either! Never been here! I just booked their elopement package and they took care of everything. We drove up from the states with the wedding dress in a box. We took 11 days to camp, hike, hotel, etc for our weddingmoon. H’s parents met up with us 2 nights prior to the wedding and they served as our witnesses. It was also their 40th wedding anniversary that summer, so the night before the wedding we had a very fancy meal. Then the night of the wedding another fancy meal. It really turned out so lovely. And No stress! My dad is passed, but my mom is alive. She culd not even make it to my own state in the US let alone canada so she was no tthere, nor did she have any interest in being there (that part was very clear, “Do I have to be there? What else is going on besides a wedding? That’s a long way to travel for just a wedding.”)
In our situation, there was nothing for the parents to do in terms of helping out with the wedding. It was very simple, very lovely and beautiful. We just showed up and looked good honestly. The venue did the rest.