Post # 1
For Christmas, DH wants to include his mom and sister and have them over to our house. DH’s mom makes killer tamales, so he thought it would be fun to make and eat them on Christmas Day. My family is more than welcome to come; traditionally, we’ll spend Christmas Day at my sister’s house (with her husband and son and our mom).
I’m feeling strange about inviting my sister. I mentioned it to her, so she’d have a heads up that’s what we were planning to do – but I don’t think she’s thrilled about changing up what we’ve always done. DH definitely will not be going over to her out (we do most holidays there and just did Thanksgiving).
My question is: what’s the best/most gracious way to invite them? I was thinking of sending a ‘fun’ email to her, my BIL and nephew saying “Please come… etc etc.” and leaving it at that.
Do you think that’s a good plan? I don’t really want to have another conversation with her about it, because she can be very noncommittal if she really doesn’t want to do it. I honestly don’t care if they choose not to, I just want to make sure they feel welcome.
Post # 3
I dunno … I would call her and do it at least over the phone, I think that if she has the expectation it will be at her house, the least you can do is call her up and explain your reasoning (not that you OWE her an explanation, I just think it is the right thing to do). I personally would be put off by receiving it in an email.
Post # 4
Why not just let the families know that you would like to host Christmas this year. Whether over the phone or in an email to everyone involved. It’s not like she owns Christmas.
Post # 5
I just had so much drama with my family over having Thanksgiving at my house instead of my future SIL house. Good luck and hope you dont have any problems! Talk to her n the phone so that you avoid any more drama than you need!
Post # 6
How about sending an e-vite to everyone including DH’s family so that people have to respond and see everyone elses response. This way its formal invite and then when you talk to her after she received it you can ask her to respond, assuming she hasnt. If you speak to your mom let her know what you are doing as well so its not a surprise and if she is willing to come I bet your sister will follow.
Post # 7
Is there more family on your side (your parents? other siblings? further extended family?) or is it just the two of you + her immediate family?
Post # 8
@lefeymw: I thought about that, but my sister and her hubby are the only ones that would get the evite (DH’s mom/sis aren’t computer saavy). I did talk to my mom about it and she was game. It was my sister who was hesitant, when I mentioned that’s what we were thinking about doing.
@ddw: it’s more on my side. It’s my mom, sister, BIL, nephew. His side is mom, sister. Usually, holidays will be me going over to my sister’s house and him going to his mom’s house. We’ll do Christmas Eve with my mom & sister (so it’s not like we won’t have time to celebrate with them, if they decide to not join).
Post # 9
@oracle: I think it’s fair to tell your sister “hey, now that we’re married, we’re considering our options for how to spend holidays. this year, we’d like to invite both families to our place for Christmas day.”
I would call her again, but that’s just me – I’d want to talk about it and leave it with something like, “think about it, and if you would rather do Christmas at your place with just your family, we’ll understand, and we’ll definitely have Christmas Eve with all of our side no matter what.”
Post # 10
@ddw: Thank you. 🙂 I will suck it up and talk to her about it. Hopefully it will come out right! We went through a LOT of stress leading up to the wedding (her saying she wouldn’t come, etc.) but then she did and it was all fine. I think I’m just scared this assertion will cause her to revert back to that frame of mind… and I wanted to tread as sensitively as possible. But, clear and concise is always the best bet.