Post # 1
So, I’m leaving one of my jobs this semester and I have to train someone to replace me. The person to replace me is a younger guy, who is very nice and so forth. He’s come in a few times (once a week) but he’s gotten in this habit of hugging me whenever he sees me.
I brushed it off the first time but now it’s like every time. I’m not a prude or anything, but I’m really not comfortable hugging someone who isn’t family or someone I’ve known for a long time. My SO is not happy with it either, and I know I wouldn’t be also if the situation were reversed.
I think he’s harmless, but that’s besides the point. I hate confrontation and I don’t know how to bring this up without seeming like I’m a really cold person.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
How long do you have to train this guy (and put up with this)? Is there any way you can subtly get out of the situation, like if you’re sitting down don’t stand when he comes up, or suddenly reach for something as he goes to hug… or pretend like you’re sick so no one should touch you in case of germs… I also hate confrontation, so these are the passive ways I would try to deter the hugging :/
Post # 4
Could u just offer your hand before he is able to hug you?Or maybe fib and day that the company you work for has a strict policy on fraternizing ,blame it on company policy.lol.
Post # 5
Ugh what a bad situation! I would probably make some kind of joke like, What are you my grandma?? I have to hug you everytime you come in?? Maybe not the best way to handle it, but it’s something. I would have a hard time with this as I am not the greatest at being upfront when I don’t like something.
Post # 6
Could a strategic high five not fix this?
Post # 7
@MrsTVLover: That’s what I would do. Just make fun of it. So you’re not creating some awkward situation.
Post # 8
@MrsTVLover: I would also make a light hearted joke of it like, “I think I get more huge from you than My mom/husband/someone else you’d expect to hug you”. He should take the hint. If not, you’ll have to decide if you want to be more assertive. Even just a “I’m not really a huggy person” should be a more clear message.
Post # 9
Yikes! That would bug me, too. Everyone has given some great suggestions, good luck!
Post # 11
@elysion: A few months, so until exams in December. Luckily the frequency of him shadowing me decreases over that time, but for now he comes in one night every week.
I appreciate all the suggestions, and I could be subtle, but I think I should try to be direct with him about it. But I don’t want to be rude, either. Again, I just hate confrontation. :/
The high-five idea sounds better than me trying to throw my hand out for a handshake, lol, which is what I thought of earlier. I guess I’ll see when he comes in tomorrow and see how it pans out.