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This past year I went to 4 weddings. Two out of the 4 sent thank you 'cards' that was just a picture of the bride and groom from their wedding and then had a side bar that said "thank you for sharing in our special day" or something to that extent. Is this the new trend? Or has this been around and I'm just naive?
I'm used to having handwritten paper folding cards that are personalized...these were different to me.
ugh i hope not. you should always thank someone specifically for the gift they gave you. We had cards like that--photo cards--but on the back, we wrote a typically thank you note
ugh that is not okay.
traditional etiquette-wise, the card shouldn't even have "thank you" printed on it. i'm in violation of that "rule," but i would NEVER send a thank you without a personal handwritten note.
That is unacceptable in my book. A handwritten note should have been attached thanking you for your specific gift.
We are having a wedding shower, so we will be writing out thank you cards to the guests that attend that event. They would bring their gift to the shower so we will send them a card after the shower. After the wedding I may send out a general thank you "picture" card to those people (whom I have already thanked in another note). Does this make sense? Do you think it's ok in this situation?
Those guests who weren't invited to the shower or didn't go, we will write them thank you notes after the wedding. It is always nice to write a personal message.
That's just lazy.
If someone cared enough to come to your wedding and give you a gift, then you should care enough to hand write them a card thanking them for the specific gift that they gave you!!
Thanks for the responses! I thought that was strange too. I prefer a personal hand written note! I know it takes a while to hand write many thank yous, but I think it's worth it!
@MSomar: No, I do not believe this makes sense. You should write a seperate hand written thank you note for each present. If you are given a shower gift and not a wedding gift, then it would be nice to send a picture card stating that you were glad they came to your wedding. However, if you also received a wedding present, I would also write a thank you card for the wedding present.
ive received similar cards and thought nothing of it - at least i got a card, im still waiting for a thankyou card from a wedding 3yrs ago but as they have since divorced ive stopped holding my breath for it :)
@MSomar:handwrite another thank you note on the back of the picture card (thank them for coming and/or for the wedding gift if they gave one) and it will be fine.
That's not okay in my book either. If people can take the time and spend the money to share your wedding day, the least a couple can do is write a thank you note. DH and I made our own thank-you notes, using a picture from our wedding day and typed Thank you and made that the cover of our thank-you note. But inside we handwrote a message to each of our guests. We got a lot of compliments on that.
PS - just a vent - friends of ours got married in June and still no thank-you note! (And they cashed the check, so we know they got it.) In the words of stephanie tanner - how rude!
I got one like that a while ago... no mention of the gift, they didn't even physically sign the thing! WTF!! It is SO lazy.
I believe you should always hand write your thank-you cards, photos can be on there also though.
FI & I attended 4 weddings in the last year & my FI stood up in two, we only received 2 thank you cards & one was the picture with nothing else. That really bothers me, especially when they cashed our check real quick after the wedding. That is just a severe pet peeve of mine,
I have gotten a couple "thank you" picture cards, both came with a handwritten note thanking me for my gift. I didn't like that they were post card type with the writing on the back of the picture but they came in an envelope. I did like getting a picture of the bride and groom though. I would like to send a picture but I really like thank you cards and send them all the time, so that is one thing I would like to keep traditional and correct.
I think that is rude too. We ordered cards with our photos on the front as well, but we will be writing formal thank you's on the back.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this was distasteful. I think the idea of sending a photocard with a nice personalized message on the back is absolutely adorable. We will probably do that!
We ordered folding cards with multiple pictures on the front and "Thank you" printed on the top on the inside where we'll write personal thank you's
@lizzy1311: this sounds adorable! I love the idea of multiple pictures
It may be a trend, or your friends may have liked the idea and done it as well. I personally think that you should thank the person for the specific gift they gave. So if you do do the picture thing, make sure it says, "Thanks for sharing our special day with us. We love the coffee pot and will use it every morning!" Or something like that.
@kitzy: @BlueChampagne: Totally understand what you all mean... Thanks for the advice. My family tends to give the "wedding" gift at the wedding shower. I will put on the photo thank you card something like, "thank you for coming.... etc."....
A thank you is a thank you. Guests are too damn picky. Who cares if it comes on a postcard or a trifold or in your email. A thank you is a thank you.
Ugh. I totally agree it's unacceptable. This seems to be a natural extension of photo holiday cards. I was just commenting over these past holidays about how many holiday cards I received that were nothing more than a photo with a generic "happy holidays" message. I must have received a dozen of these last year, most with photos of the family, some with just the kids/pets -- and not a single one with a personal message or even a signature on the back! I found it so impersonal, and it seems that trend is now spilling over into thank you cards. I say, no, no, no!
I got one of those from the FHs nephew, just the photo with a slip of paper with a thank you written on it.
I've gotten a few of those, and to me they're not something I would send out. I think our guests deserve a specific acknowledgement of any gift they give us.
i have yet to receive any sort of thank you card for a wedding i went to 11 months ago.
Maybe I am the minority, but I could care less about thank you cards!
We (as a couple) have been to 2 weddings together and havent recieved anything from either couple...Not even a card with a picture that says thank you lol
We didnt care! Especially my FI. We are still friends with those couples and nothing is gonna change that :D
A handwritten note is beat, but any thank you is better than none. We plan on doing postcards with a photo, but with a handwritten thank you on the back.
Pre printed thank you notes have been around a while and are not appropriate. in my opinion. There is no thought or consideration behind these.
You are correct You should write a formal thank you! I would suggest ordering engraved thank you stationery if your budget allows. There are some nice Mr. and Mrs. New Name cards out there. If money is an issue, go the dollar store and stock up on generic white cards with gold or silver Thank You on the outside.
But if you have the money, it is well worth it to have engraved Mr. and Mrs. New Name thank you cards printed! It shows a touch of class.
A great website for great looking but affordable cards is www.sandstone.cceasy.com. Check out the budget petite ecru or white wedding side folder invitations which is under $40.00 for 100 with personal imprinting which may be chaper than ordering 'thank you cards'. Click 'custom". under 'verse." They are great to work with and the woman Jane who answers inquries via email is very helpful. I'm sure they can print the invitation to read Mr. and Mrs. New Name on the outside of the card and inside is empty for your correspondence. Just ask if they can print your name using landscape so that the fold is on the top, not the side like an invitation fold. If it isn't possible, then order one of their personalized thank you notes. I just like the size of the petite because it is less likely to get lost in the mail as those smaller thank you's the size of an RSVP card. If a thank you note gets lost, that's a BIG DEAL. But if an RSVP card gets lost in the mail, you end up calling the guest and asking whether they are coming or not, so all works out OK in the end. For this reason I like the little larger card for the thank you's.
Keep with tradition, and do it right.
I think they're a trend, but shouldn't replace the traditional thank you card. My brother and SIL sent out their thank you notes and along with the personal, hand written thank you card, they included a photo just like you described. I LOVED that as an inclusion with the note, to me it made it even more special and I now have their beautiful mugs hung on my fridge :)
IMO, I think it's rude to not thank each guest personally with some type of handwritten card. I get that we are a society of convenience (and borderline laziness) but come on. What's next? A collective thank you email? Ugh.
What do you say if people just gave you money though? I feel awkward saying "thank you for your money!"... hardly anyone got us an actual gift, so for situations like this, how do you word something?
@SnowPeony:"Thank you so much for your generous gift! It will be a great help to us as we start our new home." OR "we used it to purchase X for our home, which we've wanted for a long time" and so on. In times past, there were differentiations between size of gift - i.e., generous, very generous, extremely generous, etc.
It's nice to see a wedding picture, but I don't think it's right to wait for a picture. The thank you note is the thing, and it only needs to be 3 sentences long.
I have no problem with the Thank You picture post card.
The last Wedding I attended, I recieved a picture of the bride and groom, and on the back there was a hand written thank you note from them.
I got one of these! I thought it was a good idea, well I didn't think it was a bad idea... but then I got a longer handwritten thank you because I was a bridesmaid.
I think this is a "trend" as of right now but you will be seeing more and more of this since traditional/formal written letters are of the past.
I think its a great idea and if someone is upset I didnt write the exact gift they bought me and thank them for it they can shove off....in the most polite manner.
The photo thank you cards are expensive; and truthfully if the people aren't family what are they going to do with it? It'll end up in the trash. Get some nice and proper engraved thank you notes with your monograms or names and do it right. Send the family the photos if you really want to do photos. They'll end up on the refrig! Send people photos who gave you gifts but couldn't attend if they are family; otherwise, don't bother.
It's a bit tacky; but it gets the job done, you can make address labels ahead of time so all you have to do it peal and paste and write. I'd do the clear address labels though. i don't think people really care as long as they get a thank you. It is really expected.
I agree with the above posters. That is very distasteful. Even though personalized notes take longer... EVERY NOTE should be handwritten and personalized to each person/gift. I think a blanket thank you is very rude.
I do not like that idea - blech. Write a personal note for goodness sake! jeez people where are maners?
also side note. I haven't recieved thank you notes from a few wedding lately... it's been a while and I dont know you but sent a wrapped gift!!
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