- 6 years ago
- Wedding: February 2013
Hello! I have finally joined the bee after lurking for a couple of months and I would like to introduce myself and my situation.
I am currently suffering in the waiting category and I thought it might help to get it all out here. My SO and I will have been together for three years this November. We met through a mutual friend and fell deeply, quickly. Three months in we exchanged “I love yous” and started to think about advancing our relationship, moving so that we would live in the same city. Our fourth month together we were hit with some life-changing news, my SO was diagnosed with stage III testicular cancer that had spread to his lymph system. I had the choice to stick with him through all the terrors that were to occur, or leave. Well, I already knew he was the ONE so I stayed with him. It was a really, really rough year. Three months of chemo, three different surgeries and biopsies. Meeting his family for the first time and then one week later waiting with his parents in the recovery room together. Fortunately his family is really supportive and welcomed me in to their hearts early on.
That first year together was all about battling cancer. Then our second year we spent learning how to be together as a couple, not as a caregiver and a patient, and celebrating his recovery. We started talking about marriage and children and I found out my SO had never been interested in either. It was devastating. We started going to counseling together and found that his feelings were rooted in fear. Lots of fear about cancer coming back and he didn’t want to hurt me as his wife or leave me alone with children. We worked through this. Eventually he realized he DOES want to marry me and have children.
Skip to this year. We had talked A LOT about getting engaged. I wait and wait and wait and we talk about it and nothing was happening. My SO is a man who definitely takes his time to make big decisions which is wonderful, but I’m a lady that once I want something, I want it now!
He asked to look at rings together and we looked online and found some styles and stones I like. Emeralds, anyone? That happened in May. So then I thought, yes! he’s bought the ring! And multiple times thought he had it and was waiting for the right opportunity to propose. Well, it turns out that hadn’t happened yet. For the last month and a half I’ve been having “waiting freakouts” about once a week where I have to tell him how I’m feeling or I will explode. He is always very supportive and thanks me for telling him how I’m feeling. The last time we talked he told me he also was feeling the same “waiting anxiety” and that “something was taking longer than he expected”, something about “an artist”.
He was being very vague! I asked him for a timeline that we would be engaged by and at the beginning of this month he said “by the end of this month, if not sooner.” Well, we’re halfway through the month! We have a big biking/camping trip planned next weekend and I’m really hoping it happens then.
I know this was an uber long post and thank you if you made it this far . I love reading other bees’ stories. It has made the waiting a teeny bit easier.